Moon’s Review

“Tonight we went to Jalapenos in Glen Rock. There are so many kids here!!!! It has so many hearts and hats. The guacamole was perfectly made. The rice was perfectly cooked and yummy. She was always smiling and nice and kind and helpful! This place puts the rock in Glen Rock! Can it kid? Yes it can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The Blue Collar Foodie’s Review

On this episode of Can It Kid?, Danny, Kat, and I visited Jalapeños Mexican Bar & Grill located at 930 Prospect St., in Glen Rock, NJ 07452. There are very few things in life that Kat and Danny love more than Tacos. On a good day, I make that list; on other days, I find myself looking up at these glorious meat-filled tortilla purses, wondering how I can rise above their deliciousness and usurp their position.

Kat and I have been celebrating Taco Tuesday for over 20 years by feasting on Taco Bell weekly. As soon as Danny’s teeth started sprouting, he joined us in this tradition, much to all of our doctors’ chagrin, I presume.

Even though our family of three eats more than most families of six at Taco Bell once a week, we still occasionally get cravings for authentic Mexican food. This is where Jalapeños Mexican Bar & Grill comes into play.

First as a couple and now as a family, when we yearn for actual tacos, burritos, enchiladas, and guacamole, we exclaim, “No quiero Taco Bell,” and venture to Jalapenos!

Like most sit-down Mexican restaurants, Jalapeños Mexican Bar & Grill provides a relaxed atmosphere conducive to family dining. Additionally, like its sister establishments, the moment your butt hits the seat, a warm basket of tortilla chips and house salsa is delivered to satisfy your noshing needs. I heart this for so many reasons, and feel more restaurants should follow suit. Reading a menu while starvation is slowly creeping into your brain, like the mist is Steven King’s The Mist, is torturous, and has led me to over-ordering or even worse, knee-jerk ordering, resulting in a poorly selected meal.

Snacking on a chip dipped in slightly spicy salsa while reading a menu is an epic way to end a day. The only thing that would make that experience better would be if Kat and I had an effervescent, slightly bitter beverage to increase our mood and decrease our inhibitions… Oh wait…That’s right… They have cerveza too! With beverages in hand, we can cheers the day away and peruse our menus with a mouthful of complementary fried tortilla goodness.

Jalapeños Mexican Bar & Grill has all the traditional Mexican food bangers on their menu. Every time we dine at Jalapeños, we contemplate ordering such amazing appetizers as the Nachos, which beckon us from a neighboring table, or the quesadillas, which exit the kitchen at a pace that screams to us. However, this exercise is simply a charade. The appetizer we always order is decided the moment Jalapeños slides into our DMs, along with the 15 reels about parenting, cats, and dumpster fires, we send each other daily. There is only one appetizer that graces our table at Jalapeños, the Guacamole.

Fellow parents who are reading this blog, your disdain for our appetizer selection is deafening. But, Blue Collar Foodie, “You can make Guacamole at home.” Kat, “Don’t you think the Guacamole is too expensive?” Moon, “Can’t you get Guacamole at the grocery store for a much better price?” Now I will defeat all three of these arguments simultaneously by asking you to replace the word “Guacamole” with the words “STARBUCKS COFFEE.” Do you still want to debate me about this, or would you rather not ruin your morning routine that costs you 400% more than a family that runs on Dunkin’?

That is what I thought. Now that you have come to the creamy green side, we can discuss why I don’t mind spending my hard-earned money on this delectable dip. To put it simply, the Guacamole at Jalapeños is divine. The seasoning enhances the avocado and does not overshadow this delicate fruit. Relax, keyboard pirate, an avocado is a fruit. Believe me, I checked. Still don’t trust me? Alright, go ahead. Check the Google machine, I’ll wait… Back so soon? I guess I was right? And, I am right about this guacamole, too, I assure you.

As for our entrees, Kat and I tend to stick with the Mexican Favorites section of the menu when we visit Jalapeños because that is the gastronomic itch we are trying to scratch. Whether we choose tacos, burritos, enchiladas, chimichangas, or chiles rellenos, we are always satisfied.

On this particular epicurean adventure, Kat chose to follow her heart to Taco Town, Danny followed her lead, and I landed squarely in the Borough of Burrito. With our food order placed, we turned our attention to our guacamole, salsa, and a heated card game between Kat and Danny.

Once our food hit the table, we devoured it, as we always do. After a long day of fill-in-the-blank adulting and Danny-ing, nothing hits the spot like a nice warm meal in the company of family. Especially, if after that meal, no one has to do the dishes!

Overall, the experience at Jalapeños Mexican Bar & Grill is excellent. The food is great, the beer is cold, and the servers are superb. Not to mention, KIDS EAT FREE ON TUESDAY AND SUNDAY!!! You read that right! So if you are still hung up on the price of the Guac, head over to Jalapeños Mexican Bar & Grill on Tuesday or Sunday, and use the money you save on the kids’ meals to treat yo’ self!