The Blue Collar Foodie Cooks With Science

As the Holiday season is approaching faster than Frosty melts in Al Gore’s very unpopular remake entitled Frosty’s Inconvenient Truth, everyone tends to overlook one of the greatest holidays of the year.  Everyone that is, except for the foodie community.  I don’t understand what is not to love about a holiday that is all about giving thanks for what you have, eating food until you feel like Jabba the Hutt, and then taking a nap while watching football.  Forget about Christmas and Chanukah people, Thanksgiving is where it is at!

Now that we have determined that Thanksgiving makes those other winter holidays feel like Daniel Baldwin at a family reunion, we are ready to celebrate, so put away your yule tide cheer for just a few more days and let’s talk Turkey!

Thanksgiving is a time for foodies everywhere to roll up their sleeves and prove to the world that they are not in need of an intervention because they watch Food Network every spare second of everyday.  Thanksgiving is a holiday tailor made for all of us that are just the right amount of food crazy.  This food-centric day gives all of us the opportunity to showcase our culinary skills to our beloved family and friends.

If you are anything like me, before you even acquired a kitchen and a dining room of your own, you hatched a James Bond-esque strategy to seize Thanksgiving from your kin, once grandma relinquished control.  This is not an easy task mind you; annexing a holiday is pretty much like licking your elbow, damn near impossible. (Go ahead and try to lick your elbow, I won’t judge. Can’t do it right? I know it is weird; you are so close but yet so far away.  Never mind that now, keep reading.)  But now as the victors of the great Thanksgiving conflict of 2010, Kat and I have won the right to host Thanksgiving and the traditions we create this year may be blogged about by our children someday, so we better bring the pain. The only question was how.

Right about now, you may be asking yourself, “Self, what the hell do I care about this crazy man’s Thanksgiving, I have my own Turkey anxiety to worry about?”   That is a very good question, and if you don’t want to learn how to cook with science and make every single person at your Thanksgiving table this year yearn for your turkey like Govenor Chris Christie and I crave bacon, then close this window and head over to RachaelRay.com and read all about her turkey.

Oh look who decided to stick around and keep reading.  Was it because this crazy foodie mentioned the possibility of cooking with science?  Good, because that is what this blog post is all about.  That’s right the Blue Collar Foodie is going to school you on cooking with straight up, Bill Nye approved science and cause all your relatives to doubt every other turkey cooking method they hold true to their heart.

Back in the 50’s Grandma baked her bird, then when Dad took over Thanksgiving in the 80’s the fowl was put to flame on the grill, and even Cousin Jebediah jumped into the mix circa 2000’s with a fry daddy and a truckload of oil, but if I was going to keep Thanksgiving at our place I had to come up with something huge.  Enter the Char-Broil Big Easy Oil-Less Turkey Fryer and the age of infrared cooked Turkey!

Anyone who has ever dreamt of deep frying a turkey but can’t shake the constant nagging reminder of the 100’s of You Tube videos that are forwarded to your many E-mail accounts this time of year depicting horrific Thanksgiving accidents when dealing with Frying, this baby is for you.  The Big Easy Oil less Fryer is the perfect compromise for the dare devil foodie that is willing to throw caution to the wind and his practical wife that is contemplating the best route to the emergency room during the Thanksgiving parade. This Bunsen burner on steroids can cook up to a 16 pounder in 8-10 minutes a pound and leaves your bird with crispy skin and moist, succulent meat.   Not to mention that you will get to post on Facebook the amazing picture of your Turkey, with the caption, “Cooked With Science,” and if you’re a foodie nerd like me, it does not get much cooler than that.  For my fellow science nerds here is an image that explains the science of infrared cooking.

As the late, great, Billy Mays use to say, “But wait there’s more.”  For all the traditionalists, who are about to comment on this article shunning this remarkable invention, put your blackberry away and relax.  Not only can you still brine your turkey just like you always do but you can also add a dry rub or inject a marinade as well.  Not to mention the fact that your oven is free to cook all your side dishes without the encumbrance of a giant feathered friend taking up 75% of it. 

Still not convinced, just look at the pictures of the nine pound chicken I cooked the other day, in 90 minutes I might add.  Let me explain it to you this way, you can keep cooking your turkey in the oven until someone in your family buys a Big Easy and starts cooking with science, thus commandeering your holiday!

 

 

 

 

 

The Blue Collar Foodie Goes On A Foodcation

When normal people go on Vacation, they spend hours, if not days, obsessing over which monuments to visit or which museum has the most, must see artwork, within its confines.  I however am not an ordinary person, I am a foodie through and through and my vacation planning begins with the googles and ends with a list of must have foodie finds for whatever foreign land I am venturing to.

In the past, I have ate my way through a road trip spanning across this beautiful country of ours sampling all the spectacular food that the fly over states have to offer.  Kat and I then went on an International foodcation to see what eats Europe had to offer, while stopping off at London, Paris, and Rome. No matter where Kat and I journey, as Snoop  Dogg once kind of said, “We got our mind on our food, and our food on our mind.”

This past week Kat and I were traipsing through LA LA land, over on the left coast, and I was not disappointed with the fantastic food that I found while I lived among the movie stars and crazy meth addled homeless people that seem to live next door to each other in good ole’ Los Angles. The following is my Top 5 Blue Collar Foodie finds in the L.A. area.

5.  Bar Kitchen 819 S. Flower Street, Downtown LA

“When in Rome” is the Cliché that should roll off every foodie’s tongue when foodcationing (Yes I just made that word up and by the way, it is Trademarked).  One should not go to Philadelphia and opt to eat a Cheese Steak without Cheez Whiz because they are on a diet, just like one should not go to the Musée du Louvre in Paris and opt not to see the Mona Lisa because the line is too long, it is decisions like these that make the rest of the world believe that Americans are uncouth, and this foodie will not allow that to happen on his watch.

With this thought in mind, I could not let my fellow East Coasters down, even if every frugal bone in my body was tingling like Spiderman’s spidey sense at Doctor Octopus’s New Years Eve Party, as I walked into the posh downtown eatery known as Bar Kitchen.  From the moment I walked into this establishment my hipstrometer, which of course is my scientific device that measures the approximate hipster level a restaurant gives off, was reading Michael Cera in a Starbucks with a Mac Book Pro, which is the highest reading I have ever seen before.

When in Rome I thought to myself as we were seated adjacent to the wall that was showing a looped, muted, black and white version of The Never Ending Story and offered a libation before our five course Chef’s Tasting began.  I ordered a Golden Road, Point the Way I.P.A, which is one of the few beers that is brewed and bottled in sunny Los Angeles, California.

With my first bite of the first course, a Quail salad with sweet potatoes and pomegranate seeds, I was ready to don an ascot, black glasses, and sing to Weezer while driving down Hollywood Boulevard in my Smart Car.  With every bite I was whisked away to a foodie paradise via Falcore the Luck Dragon, the creepy flying dog from The Never Ending Story, and I savored every second of it.

With a tiny bird and some greens in my belly, the courses hit the table like a flurry of punches from Mike Tyson, not the pigeon wrangling medicated Tyson either, the biting people’s ears off crazy Tyson.  The Mussels with Catalina beans and Tasso Ham were so rich and decadent they would make Bill Gates jealous, a Chicken Chorizo skewer topped with a lime aioli that tasted as if it was grilled on Jesus’s barbecue outside the pearly gates, and a Sock-Eye Salmon that was served with Fava beans and an Olive Compote that was so light and flaky that I mistook it for actress and damn near asked it for its autograph.

With the savory courses done, our Motley Crew sat back in our chairs like the hedonistic rulers of age old societies as we loosened our belts and discussed the fine food that graced our table in celebration of our friend Benni’s bachelor party and all agreed that this grub was in fact better than the obligatory stripper laced bachelor party that is the ordinary agenda for a party of this magnitude.   Just when we thought we could not eat another bite, a small glass of sherbet and cantaloupe arrived in front of each of us.  The chef at Bar kitchen is apparently smarter than the average bear, and knows no one in Los Angles can turn down Sherbet and Fruit no matter how stuffed they are.  This final course was simply divine and was the perfect ending to a tremendous meal.

When I entered this eatery I fell into the age old trap of judging a book by its cover and I was wrong to do so.  To add insult to my injury their price was half as much as one would expect to pay a New York Restaurant for a 5 course tasting meal, and I gladly ate the chef’s humble pie for only 35 bucks!  Well done Bar Kitchen, my compliments to the chef.

Bar & Kitchen on Urbanspoon

 

4.  Bob’s Big Boy 4211 Riverside Dr. Burbank, CA

There are quite a few things that New Jersey is known for, some of them we are proud of and others, not so much. A true Jersey native will proudly boast about first game of baseball being played in Hoboken, cringe at any Snookie related nonsense, and give you directions to one of the 17 billion malls that are located in the Garden State.   Even though New Jersey is known for all of these things, the one thing that Jersey has that no New Jersian can truly live without, is the magical Diner.  In most of the other states that I have traveled to finding a Diner is quite a task, but not in our wonderful little armpit. I am pretty sure that every town has a law about having at least one diner, and if that diner closes your town risks being shunned and forced to become a part of Pennsylvania, and believe me, no one wants that.

Everyone enjoys having a small slice of home when they are on vacation, including Kat and I, so if we can have breakfast  at a diner when we are away  it makes the start of the day that much better. Enter Bob’s Big Boy, which is not just any old run of the mill diner, but a full service diner that has been feeding the residents of Burbank, California since 1949.  Whenever we are in the L.A. area Bob’s Big Boy is a must stop for at least one leisurely breakfast.

The door for Bob’s in Burbank is like a time portal that whisks you away back to the 1950’s when Diners were chock full of plump oversized booths  and smiling waitresses.  As you walk into this amazing historical landmark, you can feel the Americana oozing from every corner, from the plague that informs you where the Beatles ate to Bob Big Boy statue that is displayed within the dining area.   If there is one thing better than the décor, it is the deliciously comforting food.

At Bob’s you can, of course, get the normal diner fare, but in my opinion normal is just another way to say mundane.  If you decide to go visit Bob in Burbank I recommend getting the Big Boy Scramble which is described as scrambled eggs mixed with ham, bell pepper, onions and tomato, topped with cheddar cheese and is served with fresh hash brown potatoes, a side of salsa and toast, English muffin or biscuit if you are hungry yet want to appear healthy.  I for one, use the mantra go big or go home a lot when I am on vacation, so when I go to Bob’s I order the Deep Fried French Toast with bacon, eggs, and home fries.   That’s right I said DEEP FRIED FRENCH TOAST, try to read the rest of the article before booking a flight to Big Boy Land please.

Bob's Big Boy on Urbanspoon

3.  Food Trucks (Lardon’s Obituary)

The first time Kat and I wandered around the streets of California we had never partook in the offerings of mobile gastronomy purveyors, or food trucks in layman’s terms.  It was on this first adventure to Los Angles that Kat and I realized the folly of our ways.  While we were looking for expensive chic restaurants in preparation for our trip, we should have been scouring the interwebs for mobile eateries and then chasing them down California Highway Patrol style sans the goofy looking tan shorts and bad 80’s hair.

The food truck that converted us to the church of portable cuisine was none other than the delectably decadent Lardon.  This now extinct beast was the countries’ first and, as far as I know the only Bacon themed food truck.   Lardon was so popular due to its Baconey goodness that it was featured on numerous Television Shows including everyone’s favorite Ginger, Conan O’Brien.  Just reading Lardon’s menu literally added cholesterol to your system.  Some of the menu highlights were, The Bacone which consisted of three strips of exotic bacon, such as Duck or Wild Boar, Chicken Wings covered in bacon hot sauce, topped with hot sauce covered bacon served with a bacon blue cheese dipping sauce, and of course the BACO, a Taco Shell made entirely out of BACON!

I honestly could write a dozen sonnets in iambic pentameter about Lardon and their porky yumminess, but alas they are no more, so I will mourn in silence for our deceased friend.  In the meantime, let me explain how these trucks work for those of you who are not in the know.  The first step is to find a truck you are interested in trying before you arrive in L.A., which is easy enough thanks to the good ol’ googles.  If you are feeling lazier than usual, you can choose one from the Zagat’s Top 10 L.A. food truck list.

Once you have a truck in mind, for example the Grill ‘Em All truck, head over to their website and check out how you can follow them around town.  Most trucks use their Twitter and Facebook feeds to tell potential clients where their truck will be parked for breakfast, lunch, and diner.   Once you are following your food truck via your preferred method of social media, the rest is simple.  Check feed, find truck, and eat food.

The food truck scene in California is amazing because the weather year round is perfect for outdoor dining and standing in line.  Although the New York Metropolitan area is trying to catch up, there seems to be a lot more red tape on this coast that these small businesses have to cut through in order to open up shop.   With that said, these mobile business ventures do seem to disappear overnight never to be heard from again, so if you see one you like and you have the opportunity to eat there, do it while you can.

2. Smoke House  4420 W Lakeside Dr. Burbank, CA

While driving around the Burbank area, Kat and I drove past this unassuming eatery and noticed a neon sign that read, “fine food at a fair price.”  You would think that the sign read, “Free Bacon,” because the next day Kat and I were on our way to explore Smoke House with some friends and family that we were visiting with during our stay.

Me, being me could not resist doing a little research on the place before just walking in, so out the I-Phone came and onto the Googles I went.  I found out that the Smoke House is one of the oldest restaurants in Burbank, California and was opened in 1946.  Due to its location, near the Warner Brother’s Studio, it became a haven for celebrities in its hay day.  Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Errol Flynn, Milton Berle, Judy Garland, and even James Dean could be found dining at the Smoke House on any given Friday night back in the day.   While now George Clooney and Andy Garcia are known to pop in from time to time, Clooney even named his production company after this place.  The more and more I read about this spot, the more and more I knew I needed to eat there.

The Smokehouse Restaurant is yet another time travel device tucked away in Burbank California.  As you walk in, the old Hollywood Lounge vibe is stronger than Charlie Sheen’s coffee after a weekend binge.   I almost expected to hear a traditional lounge singer crooning over a bad P.A. system and be assaulted by plumes of cigarette smoke from the patrons.   As we traveled to our table, the nostalgia level only increased, from the in booth telephone jacks, the artwork on the walls, this was in fact Hollywood the way I only wish I could experience it.

Not only was I excited just to have the opportunity to dine at this sweet establishment, when we looked at the menu is only got better.  We had apparently arrived at the Smoke House during their 66th Anniversary celebration and we were able to order off a special menu that shaved off about 7 dollars a plate.   My research insisted Kat and I try the Smoke House famous Prime Rib with a side order of “The World’s Best Garlic Bread,” and we are not ones to argue with the foodie community or the googles for that matter, so Prime Rib it was.

Not only did I feel like a pimp sitting in this restaurant, I felt like a King eating the food.  The Garlic Bread was bursting with flavor; the salad portion was larger than Christina Ricci’s five head; and the Prime Rib was simply amazing.  To top it all off, the wait staff was wonderful and treated us like we were one of the many celebrities that has placed their rump in their vintage comfy seats.

If you find yourself in Burbank, California and you don’t hit this remarkable establishment up, you sir have failed the foodie that lives inside of you.

Smoke House on Urbanspoon

1: IN AND OUT BURGER (212 locations in CA)

If you don’t know about In and Out Burger, then you need to fly to the West Coast immediately and put some of their crazy good burgers in your belly.  I know I have done articles about Gastro Burgers and sung their praises but there is something about the simplicity of a good old fashioned In And Out burger that makes my stomach smile.  You can ask Kat, when I enter a state that has an In and Out located within its borders (Arizona, California, Nevada, Texas, or Utah) we are driving until In and Out is in my belly.

Before I get a hundred nasty grams from you guys, I should clarify that I am fully aware that it is just a burger and fries from yet another fast food restaurant.  But, because I can only have one every so often they become a forbidden fruit, a red button that you are told not to press, or a wrapped toy that you can’t play it, it gets to the point that I dream about them.

Not to mention the fact that In and Out has a super not so secret menu that you can order off of to procure items that are not listed on their very limited menu.  If you do intend to go to an In and Out during your travels you should definitely study this clandestine menu so you can experience the best  In and Out has to offer.   I love ordering off the secret menu because you feel as if you are a member of a fraternal order and only you and the cashier know the handshake.

I have a standard order when I go to In and Out for the first time in a long time.  I get myself a Double Double Animal Style with a side of Animal Style fries and wait in anticipation for them to call my number.  After ordering, I am like a child on Christmas morning waiting for their parents to wake up, I pace around the restaurant in anticipation getting the napkins and ketchup prepared so when my number is called all I have to do it sit and eat.

In and Out Burger has been pumping out fantastic burgers and fries since 1948 and the basic process has remained the same.    They don’t freeze, pre-package or over-process their beef patties.  They hand leaf their lettuce so each piece is inspected before landing on your burger.  Their fries are individually cut at the store that you walk into, so they are the freshest they can be.  The best way to put it is that In and Out Burger just make things the old-fashioned way, and that is why their food tastes so good.

I, by no means claim to have a working knowledge of the California Foodie Scene and I am sure a California native could throw out the name of ten places that are bigger and better than the five restaurants I mentioned above, but then they have missed the point of this article completely.  This post is merely designed to explain that a vacation can be turned into a foodcation with a little research and an open mind.   Next time you venture out of your area don’t just visit the monuments and museums, explore the local culture one forkful at a time.

The Blue Collar Foodie Gets Lucky on River Road!

As a Fair Lawnite, I was very sad to see Sub Base’s reign at 18-50 River Road come to an unceremonious end.  I always had very fond memories of the location that Lucky’s Steak Plate has chosen to set up shop, because my Grandparents used to bring us there as a special treat when I was growing up.

One of the reasons I believe I became a foodie in the first place is because the taste and sheer smell of food can be linked to some of my strongest and happiest memories during my youth.  Just ask any individual of Italian descent to describe their Mother’s gravy or a member of the Jewish faith to discuss their Grandmother’s Matzah Ball soup, and you will hear the passion that food can instill in people, as just the thought of this comfort food transports them back to a simpler and happier time in their lives.

With that said, I was reluctant to go to Lucky’s at first because I wanted to remember Sub Base as it was lodged firmly in my psyche. Luckily, pun intended, Kat was not attached to Sub Base like I am, and she convinced me to give this spot a try.  Don’t tell Kat this, but after visiting Lucky’s Steak Plate I realized I should probably listen to her more frequently.

Kat and I entered Lucky’s and were greeted with a smile and a, “howdy” by a welcoming employee who was standing behind the counter.  This often overlooked and seemingly insignificant interaction is always appreciated by Kat and I whenever we go out, whether it is to a restaurant or even a clothing store.  I was ecstatic to see at Lucky’s, this, thought to be, dead art is strolling around searching for brains just in time for Halloween.

As for the décor, Kat and I truly thought that Lucky’s was a chain restaurant when we first walked in, and that is not the insult that it sounds like.  The color scheme, the paint, the uniforms, and even the menu are so well thought out that it seemed like they were all designed, implemented, and kept up by professionals.  I tip my hat to the proprietor of this establishment, because to be honest most newly opened restaurants look like they were decorated by a student of the Helen Keller institute of design.

I can hear my fellow foodies while I type this review, “WTF!, since when did the BCF turn into a furry Martha Stewart.”  I know this blog is about food and believe me if Lucky’s Steak Plate was just another flashy chain with  required flair this Blue Collar Foodie would not be doing a write up on them.  If you are familiar with my blog, I praise blue collar food done right, and Lucky is, well, doin’ it right.

On our first visit to Lucky’s, Kat and I were in the mood to sample a variety of the fare that Lucky’s is offering.  We decided upon the Cheese Steak Hero with Onion, Sweet Peppers, and Hot Peppers, a side order of hot wings, and a helping of the Disco Fries to round off our healthy meal all for $28.04.

After we ordered our food, the lovely waiting staff instructed us to have a seat and they would bring the food out to us when it was ready.  In the dining area there are several televisions that keep you entertained as well as a great soundtrack of American Rock and Roll, that Kat and I were convinced was someone’s I-pod with a playlist simply entitled Lucky’s. Once we were seated it was only a few minutes until the food arrived and we were able to dig in.

Kat and I are quite the wing lovers so both of us started off our entrée with one of the, “Lucky Wings.”  Lucky’s wings had the perfect ratio of crispy skin to moist meat, which is always a tricky balance to master.  The hot sauce was full of flavor but not punch you in the nuts so you can’t breathe kind of hot.  For those of you who like to lose all your taste buds for a week when munching down on some hot wings, Lucky does supply a bottle of hot sauce on the table to increase the heat.

Next we divided up the Cheese Steak Hero, which as a Chef I would be scared to serve to Kat, due to her roots in Might As Well Be Alabama South Jersey, but she seemed to like it.  I for one was a fan, if not for any other reason but the quality of the steak.  Most North Jersey eateries try to pass off store brought frozen “Steak-Um’s,” as a “Philly” Cheese Steak but not Lucky’s, they use fresh rib eye steak which is served on a fresh baked hero roll.  Furthermore, as a New York Sports fan that despises any and all Philadelphia sports fans, this includes Kat during baseball season mind you; I always love finding a proper Philly Cheese Steak in the North because then it is one less excuse Kat can use to drag me down to Philly to visit the city of brotherly hate.

After a few bites of the Cheesesteak and another wing each, we moved onto the Disco Fries, which as the menu says truly is a Jersey thing.  The fries were cooked well and tasted great due to whatever magical oil they fill their fryer with.  They were also smothered in mozzarella cheese, which is a must for any self-respecting order of disco fries, but sadly the gravy was lacking something.  Don’t get me wrong I would still order them again, but I may ask for the gravy on the side this time.

All in all the food that we tried at Lucky’s was worthy of praise and most definitely earned Lucky’s Steak Plate a return visit, so I can eat me some steak.  Although I was sad to see Sub Base leave, after seeing what Lucky’s is all about, I truly hope they stick around for the long haul and create more than a few memories for the foodies in training that are running around Fair Lawn today.

Lucky Steak Plate on Urbanspoon

Before The Impending Porkcalypse, Follow The Blue Collar Foodie to The Swiss Pork Store For Oktoberfest

     As a self-proclaimed foodie and bacon aficionado it is about time that I bring up a place that is very near and dear to me.  Not only is this shop located minutes away from my house in Fair Lawn, but the mere smell of this brilliant store makes me smile. The boutique that makes this Blue Collar Foodie enter a dream world tantamount to Willy Wonka’s factory, only instead of chocolate it is full of wondrous meaty goodness, is none other than The Swiss Pork Store, located at 24-10 Fair Lawn Avenue, Fair Lawn, New Jersey.

The Swiss Pork store is what Disneyland is to children for carnivorous foodies all across Bergen County and beyond. Their motto, which is extremely apropos, is, “We’re Not Just Pork,” and they are not kidding. Their packaged goods menu reads like a who’s who of foods that one needs to try before they die. They are a one stop shop for all things meat and then some.

Some of the best homemade sausages in the state, if not the planet, can be found at the Swiss Pork Store, and just in time for your very own Oktoberfest. You can buy Bratwurst, Weisswurst, Bockwurst, Bauernwurst, Knockwurst and pretty much any other damn wurst that is known to man. On top of that they offer frankfurters with or without skin for anyone who feels somewhat inadequate when eating a large sausage, TWSS. You also never know what type of specialty sausages the mad men at the Swiss Pork Store are going to concoct on any given day, so I suggest stopping by and taking a peek before making up your mind, you might end up leaving with a Jalapeno and Cheddar Wurst that would make Oscar Mayer cry himself to sleep.

The Swiss Pork Store also doubles as a full-fledged butcher as well. Although their fresh prime meats are rather expensive, ask before you buy, they are well worth the price. You can acquire chop meat that is unlike no other in the beef, veal, pork, or lamb varieties to create awe-inspiring meatballs or hamburgers. The steaks they offer compare to any of the steaks that I have paid triple for at a high end steak house in New York City, and you can choose between any cut, including porterhouse, shell, skirt, and NY strip.  If you are feeling one of the white meats they can also carve your choice of Chicken and Pork in a variety of different cuts.  If you are feeling a little frisky though, you can choose something a little more obscure to don your dinner table and go with their veal or lamb. Whatever you choose I assure you, you will not be disappointed, or at least I have never been.

     Not sold yet?  Well, I am about to make the boldest statement that this Blue Collar Foodie has ever put in print, and if this statement does not make you get into your car and drive to the Swiss Pork Store immediately, I am not sure we can be Facebook Friends anymore. Ready?  You might want to sit down.  Are you sitting?  THE SWISS PORK STORE SELLS THE BEST BACON YOU WILL EVER TASTE! There, I said it, and I mean it. I have somewhat of a Bacon addiction as any of my followers know from previous posts, and I must tell you, with 100 percent certainty, this bacon could seriously create peace in the Middle East and it could make North Koreans and South Koreans hug it out. In fact, I have it on good authority that Roger Goodell and the Referees for the NFL, sat down and ate this Bacon on Wednesday night just before they settled the lockout. Alright maybe none of that is true, but I am serious, this is really good bacon!
     If everything you have just read did not convert you into a Swiss Pork Store customer, which does not bode well for our friendship status I might add, I present to you the following. Not only can you procure some of the finest uncooked goods in the land, you can also find remarkable homemade cold cuts for purchase by the pound or, unbeknownst to most, on a fresh made sandwich, that can only be described as simply divine. I suggest trying the Veal Loaf, which is scrumptious, but you can stay within your comfort zone as well and try the smoked in-house ham, salami, and turkey, or you can go completely off the rails and sink your teeth into their famous head cheese, blood & tongue loaf, or liverwurst.  Creating a sandwich at the Swiss Pork Store is always an adventure and the best part is there is always a happy ending, get your mind out of the gutter people; I am talking about a full stomach.  Furthermore, instead of the horribly unhealthy fries that any run of the mill burger joint will pair up your lunch with, the Swiss Pork Store has a huge selection of cold salads which Kat fiends for like a pregnant lady craves ice cream and pickles.

Whether you are looking for packaged goods, including imported candy and European Groceries as well, to take home to feed your family or a sandwich on the go to feed your face, The Swiss Pork has it all.  From the second I walked into this place and was greeted with a smile and slice of veal loaf, I fell in love.  The people that work the counter here are always extremely helpful and have tremendous knowledge about the magnificent product that they sell. So don’t be shy when you give the Swiss Pork Store a whirl, and ask some questions, they will be happy to answer them and steer you in the right direction!

 

The BCF’s Top Ten Football Foods

I am well aware that the post you are about to read is not a restaurant review, but if you are anything like me, and most guys in this country, you understand that Sundays, from early September to mid-February, is no time to be gallivanting around town visiting restaurants.  By 1:00 PM any self-respecting Blue Collar Foodie should be on his/her couch, with the Television tuned to whatever Nationally televised NFL game that is on,  while the oven, smoker, grill, or slow cooker is gradually cooking some type of food that will be consumed joyously at around 6:00 P.M. by family and friends.

As I have stated in previous posts, Football Sundays at my house are damn near religious events.  Tuesday morning during football season, I begin my search for my recipes for the big day, much like the players begin their workouts.  I scour Google, Allrecipes, Food Network, and the like for something that tickles my fancy.  By Wednesday I usually have my game plan and the first shopping trip is done after work, this is where I pick up my non-perishables and proteins, anything that can keep until Sunday.   Thursday and Friday the invites go out and we find out how many people will be watching the games with us.  On Sunday, Kat and I are up early shopping, preparing, seasoning, preheating, and marinating.  The following is what I consider the BCF’s Top 10 Foodie Football Finds for any given Sunday.

Since there is usually three different times that football games are on television during the regular season, I feel that there are really two distinct eating times during the games.  I always cook appetizers for the first game, 1:00 PM, to prime everyone’s stomach for the main event which I serve at halftime of game two, 6:00 P.M, leaving the late night game for digestion and discussion.

5: Guacamole

Coming in at number five in the appetizer class is everyone’s favorite use for an avocado, Guacamole.  This dish has been around since the 16th century, and was very popular in the 1940’s and the 1960’s.  We can all thank our west coast comrades for the resurgence of this classic Mexican dip, since the Avocado has become more popular than celebrities flipping off paparazzi in California, and has since spread like wildfire throughout the country.  This tangy concoction of Avocado, garlic, cayenne pepper, and whatever the hell else the recipe tells you to throw into a bowl and mix until somewhat smooth has become a staple at my house for basically any party.  It is not only simple to make but it is an affordable replacement for the prehistoric and lackluster party basics, salsa and onion dip. The following is just one of the recipes I use, I like variety, so you can try this one, or better yet hunt down a recipe that makes your mouth water and give it a go this Sunday!

4:  Sausage

At the very respectable number four spot for the appetizer division is the ever so manly Sausage.  Some foodies will tell you that sausage is an entree, which I understand, but I am all about slicing these veritable grenades of flavor and cooking them until they are crisp on my grill top.  With an arsenal of toothpicks at the ready and an array of dipping sauces whatever sausage you buy can turn into a crowd favorite in minutes with little to no prep and cook time.  I recommend going to the Swiss Pork Store, located at 24-10 Fair Lawn Avenue, in Fair Lawn, New Jersey 07410 to procure some of the best homemade sausages on this planet!  But, if you want to make things easier on yourself you can always pick up any of the packaged sausages from the local grocery store, I for one, like these the best.

3:  Bacon Wrapped Jalapenos

Rounding out the top three for the appetizers, is a new recipe for my household, but these spicy little devils have stolen my heart, Bacon Wrapped Jalapenos.  First and foremost, anything wrapped in Bacon is always welcome on my team, but when cheese and hot peppers were combined with the world’s best condiment, yes bacon is a condiment; a new level of love was formed.  These petite gems are not only inexpensive and stress-free to make but they are the perfect companion to whatever beer you and your guests are imbibing while shouting at the television as if the coach and players can hear you.

2:  Chicken Wings

The second best appetizer for any football Sunday, in my opinion, is the ageless classic and utterly delicious chicken wing.  Whether they are hot, mild, garlic, sweet, honey, teriyaki, or plain these scrumptious pint-sized buggers just scream football.  Not only can you make them every week for less than 10 bucks, their versatility allows you to never cook the same batch twice.   Not only can you create 100’s of different flavors by combining sauces you can fry, grill, or bake them to create even more variety.  All in all, these vintage sporting event treats are a great choice for the novice chef trying to feed a small army.

1: The Bacon Explosion

The BCF’s top appetizer and truly what should be the winner in any appetizer competition from this point forward is and should always be, THE BACON EXPLOSION!  Nothing goes better with football and beer than a meat log filled with cheese and bacon, wrapped in more bacon, slathered in barbecue sauce and cooked to perfection.  This dish has been known to convert more vegetarians than the crusaders converted heathens.  Although this is a non-traditional appetizer, once you make this stunning bacon wrapped meatgasm, you will forever remember the first time you tasted it, and for that very reason since October 19, 2008 THE BACON EXPLOSION has been The Blue Collar Foodie’s Favorite Football Appetizer!

 

Once the appetizers are all gone and the chips are starting to dwindle your guests are going to become restless.  If you are doing things properly, by the beginning of the second game your entire house is going to smell glorious, and your friends are going to know that dinner is going to be just as good as the appetizers were.   Now after serving one of the aforementioned appetizers you could settle for cooking some hot dogs and hamburgers, or maybe even order some pizza, but that would be the easy way out.  I am the type of person that agrees with the old phrase, Go big or Go Home, I don’t just settle for what is acceptable, I want to crush acceptable into a fine dust and add to one of the next dishes that make up the Blue Collar Foodie’s Fantastic Football entrees.

5:  Chili

Number five on my list only finds itself that low because I have to wait until the colder months to truly enjoy it.  This mélange of ingredients that takes the entire day to truly meld into a cohesive mouthwatering meat potion is one of my favorite dishes to munch on, during a cold blustery football Sunday.   One of the many reasons I love making and eating chili is because everyone has their own recipe and method of cooking, but no matter what they all taste great.  I for one hardly ever make the same Chili recipe twice. With literally 1000’s of recipes to choose from on the internet, I feel that having the same one all the time is just meaningless.  Check out the winners of the International Chili Cook-off recipes for inspiration or be adventurous and create your own.

4:  Barbecue Chicken

Barbecue Chicken is a very simple, yet difficult to master dish, that can go from undercooked to charcoal in a matter of minutes if you are not paying attention.  Furthermore, it is very easy to end up with chicken that is burnt on the outside and pink on the inside, which not only tastes horrible but can be dangerous.  It is these problems that usually make people shy away from cooking this delicious meal, which is exactly why, you should master this art.  There are only a few people in this world that cook truly superb barbecue chicken, and if you can distinguish yourself as one of them, you will have friends lining up at your doorstep at 12:30 P.M. on Sunday begging for a seat on your couch.  Now go get started!

3:  Pork Tenderloin

In third place, and one of my most favorite cuts of swine, other than Bacon of course, is the Pork Tenderloin.   It really does not matter how you prepare this succulent cut of pure porky goodness, it will turn out to be a fan favorite.  This type of meat is so damn popular it has a website devoted to it where you can find recipes and cooking tips that is literally named PorkTenderloin.org.   I have cooked this wonderful piece of meat a dozen different ways and I have never been disappointed before, and neither have my friends.  If it was up to me Chicken would be demoted and we would start calling pork just THE WHITE MEAT!

2:  Brisket

The runner up in the Entree class, Smoked Barbecue Brisket, almost took first place, and really is an amazing meal for anytime of the year, but especially during football season.   In fact, both first place and second place honors were given to meats that are smoked, low and slow, all day long.  (TWSS)  This particular cut of meat is served at almost every BBQ joint I have ever been to, and there is a damn good reason for that.  Brisket has an ideal flavor absorbing quality and due to its fibrous make-up, takes to smoking, like a cheetah takes to running.   Remember though, smoking is a skill that must be honed; one cannot just assume that the first brisket that he or she smokes will turn out as good as a true pit master’s does.  With that said, practice makes perfect and even if your brisket is not perfect, it will still taste fantastic, so I don’t mind practicing.   Try this recipe for your first one.

1:  Ribs

The winner of the entrée group and still tailgate/football party champion of the world, are the one and only, fantastically tasty, PORK RIBS!  Whether these flavor-filled racks of ridiculously good yumminess are grilled, baked, or smoked does not really matter.  There is something about Ribs that just exude football and manliness.  I for one enjoy the smoked variety slathered in my favorite barbecue sauce, surrounded by all the best barbecue sides that I can manage to squeeze on my plate.  Although, ribs, are very forgiving due to their appetizing nature, be careful when smoking and grilling them, there is nothing worse than a ruined entrée to ruin your perfect football Sunday.  For a full rundown on the proper way to prepare a rack or two of awe inspiring ribs, click here.

The most important thing to remember when hosting a football Sunday is that people are over to watch the game first and eat your food second.   Which means, if you expect people to enjoy their Sunday you must keep the game on at all times, and allow people to eat while sitting right in front of it.  If you are worried about a little barbecue sauce getting on your couches then perhaps hosting a football Sunday is not for you.   However, if you don’t mind spending your entire Sunday, cooking, drinking, and watching your favorite teams do battle on the field, then as the envelope said to the stamp,  stick with me kid and we’ll go places.

The Blue Collar Foodie Visits a True Foodie Underdog

There are very few things that go so well together in this world that when one is not combined with the other it should be considered blasphemy.  Some examples of these culinary matches made in heaven are Peanut Butter and Jelly, Pasta with Tomato Sauce, a bucket of popcorn while watching a movie, and, of course, Beer, Wings, and Football.  As the football season hurdles at us faster than a running back dashing down the side line, one must start to think where they will be on Sunday and Monday Nights.

Sunday’s at my house during football season are quite special; Kat and I invite a plethora of friends other for craft beer, slow-cooked food, and of course football.  Football Sundays are an all-day event at our house and can be rather exhausting, so when Monday night football comes around we choose to go out on the town to watch the game.

Just because we choose to go out does not mean we abandon our golden rule of football, which clearly states it must be enjoyed with good friends, good food, and cold beers (Hard Cider in Kat’s case).  This standard football mantra brings me to a small bar in Haledon, NJ damn near every Monday to not only watch the game but also to devour some of the area’s best wings.  This magnificent establishment is called The Underdog Bar & Grill and it is located at 4 Church St., Haledon NJ  07508.

Now, for all the foodies that are reading this and thinking to themselves, The Blue Collar Foodie has finally lost it, wings at a bar are the farthest thing away from foodie cuisine that he has ever reviewed.  To those people that think that way, I must implore you to never throw your nose up in the air at any food, remember in the 18th century Bacon was the food of paupers and now the Bacon Foodie movement is stronger than ever.  I believe that anything edible can be gastronomy when prepared properly.

Furthermore, I am sure that there are another contingent of my readers that instantly thought of their favorite wingery when I mentioned the words, best and wings in the same sentence.  I can hear your chants of hatred bouncing around my skull as you think of new and exciting ways to torture me for my sacrilegious comments.   To these fanatical foodies, I first commend your passion for food, for I too love my local eateries, hell I devote hours of my days writing and reviewing them, so I understand your urge to defend your local beloved restaurants.  But, I ask “can you ever have too many spots that serve fantastic food? “ Even if your wings, in your mind are the best of the best, should you close your mouth and mind to what other wings that may be as equally delectable.  I appeal to your foodie nature, and propose that you join me in trying what I believe to be some of the finest wings in the state.

One of the main reasons Kat and I venture to The Underdog Bar & Grill as opposed to any of the number of sports bars in the Fair Lawn area to watch Monday Night Football, is we love variety.  Sure I have been to places that make excellent hot wings but sometimes I am not in the mood for the humdrum standards of mild, medium, or hot.  Sometimes I want the selection that The Underdog offers; such as Hot, Medium, Mild, BBQ, Thai Chili, Hot Garlic, Fire Ranch, Drunken (Jack Daniels Honey Bourbon with BBQ sauce), Teriyaki, and Texas Thai.  It is diversity like this that keeps Kat and I driving up 208 North to find a bar stool at The Underdog each and every week.   These robust tastes cover the large meaty chicken wings from top to bottom, creating a whirlwind of flavor which will leave your taste buds dancing.

Furthermore, I would not be the Blue Collar Foodie if I was not always looking for great value in combination with phenomenal food.  Have no fear my fellow foodies, The Underdog Bar & Grill offers a fantastic deal every Monday, which is Buy 1 Get 1 wings.  That is right you heard me!  If you venture to The Underdog on Mondays you will not only get to try one amazing flavor of these extraordinary wings for $6.95 but you will get another style for free.   Not to mention, the Underdog offers a fully stocked bar with well-trained bar tenders that will whip you up whatever adult beverage happens to be your fancy.

If all this talk about their succulent and flavorful wings were not enough to get your butt off your couch and onto one of the Underdog’s bar stools to watch the Monday Night Game, they also offer a full menu of classic bar treats as well as some off the wall concoctions.  They serve the standard bar fare such as Mozzarella Sticks, Chicken Fingers, French Fries, and Nachos, but also throw in some appetizers that are not usually found on normal bar menus such as breaded fried artichoke hearts, Thai shrimp, and Chicken Teriyaki Potstickers.  As for entrees, The UL offers spectacular hamburgers with a myriad of toppings, Hot Dogs, Sandwiches, Salads, and Pub Rolls which are unique versions of sushi roll like snacks stuffed with a variety of yumminess.

If football is not your cup of tea, or pint of beer in this case, The Underdog also has outstanding specials on almost every other night of the week as well.   Tuesdays at the Dog features $1 dollar tacos hard or soft and drink specials to boot, Wednesdays you can get $2 Buds, and Thursday offers $1 mugs and $1 hot dogs.

On top of great food and affordable drinks The Underdog has a surplus of Televisions that are always tuned to the best that the sports world has to offer and a digital jukebox that is constantly playing some of the best music from 1960’s to the current day.  The Underdog also offers a pool table as well as three dart boards if bar sports is what you are looking for.  As if that were not enough, they added an outdoor patio area that allows you to drink your beer and smoke your cigarettes at the same time, which as an ex-smoker I can truly appreciate.

With all that said, if you decide to visit The Underdog Bar & Grill you should remember this establishment is a bar first and a restaurant second.   This means that it could be loud and it might be crowded when you arrive.  This is not the type of place to bring your grandmother and your kids, this is the type of place that you enter knowing full well a profound conversation about theoretical physics will not be able to be had, but if cheap drinks and noteworthy blue collar food is what you’re after, a trip to The Underdog Bar & Grill will satisfy your needs.

Underdog Lounge on Urbanspoon

The Blue Collar Foodie Laments about the Impending Demise of Backyard Barbecues

As the end of summer draws near and the seemingly endless supply of weekend barbecue invites slowly dissipates on my Facebook page, I can’t not help but shed a hickory flavored tear.  The enticing sound, amazing smell, and astonishing taste of searing meats, which were marinated for two days in homemade sauces, cooked to perfection with flawless grill marks is enough to cause a foodgasm, and the sheer thought that soon these events will  soon disappear is enough to make this foodie blue with sadness.

Just as I was contemplating going to Costco and buying a Fred Flintstone sized rack of ribs and going into a Barbecue induced Hibernation for the cold, soul less, barbecue-lacking months that lie ahead, I received an E-mail from LivingSocial.com, an online company that delievers local deals to your inbox.  Like a warm beacon of hope this E-mail shined through the impending gloomy darkness, and invited me to try a barbecue spot called Bourbon BBQ, located at 529 Goffle Rd., Wyckoff, N.J. 07481.  Living Social had come through in the clutch and delivered not only a new Barbecue joint to test out but a half off coupon for something called the Garbage Plate, which appeared to be a barbecue sampler for two.

Upon further research I found that the Garbage Plate was in fact made for two and consisted of bourbon ribs, beef brisket, pulled pork, Texas smoked sausage, coleslaw, smokehouse beans, collard greens and corn bread.  I immediately purchased this living social coupon and scheduled a date with Kat for the first available day in our calendar to try this alluring dish offered by Bourbon BBQ.  Their website also informed me that Bourbon BBQ is a BYOB establishment, which always makes this foodie smile, and I noticed that you can make reservations on their site as well.

As we entered Bourbon BBQ, the first thing I noticed was the tantalizing smell wafting about.  I could tell right off the bat that this was not a B.S. BBQ joint due to the smell of smoke lingering in the air.  Kat and I approached the counter and spoke to the hostess who allowed us to choose any table that was available.  We made our way to a table that was empty and sat down with my beer and Kat’s cider in tow.

Before our rumps could warm the seats we had just taken, our waiter appeared in front us and handed us our menus.  We explained that we had the Living Social Garbage Plate coupon and took our drink orders at this time as well.  Our waiter then left the table, and returned quickly with a bottle opener and some glasses for our adult beverages.  The prompt service was highly appreciated because we arrived to dinner close to 8 P.M. and were famished.

As Kat and I discussed our hectic days over a few sips of our cocktails, we eagerly awaited our meal.  Which we did not have to wait long for, and that made both of our bellies smile.  What exited the kitchen and landed on our table was a colossal pile of barbecue, and it was love at first sight.  In addition to the food itself, the server also delivered a caddie full of homemade barbecue sauces, which he described in detail to us one by one, and a roll of paper towels.   More so, before the server left he explained the Garbage Plate to us, pointing our each item of the plate, which for a first timer at Bourbon was extremely helpful.

I consider myself a sauce aficionado, so when the server explained each sauce and informed us that they were all homemade, I paid attention like a physicist listens when Stephen Hawking talks about black holes.  With that said I feel obligated to not only name these sauces but also give you my first impression of them as well, the following is the list:

  1. Kansas City:  Bourbon’s take on a Kansas City style sweet Barbecue Sauce.  This sauce was fantastic for a sweet Barbecue sauce which I tend to shy away from most of the time.   I recommend this sauce on the Pulled Pork.
  2. Carolina:  Bourbon’s vinegar based Barbecue sauce which I found simply divine.  This sauce complimented everything I put it on, instead of overwhelming the flavor of the meat.  Great on the Brisket.
  3. Delta:  This sauce blew mine and Kat’s mind.  A great combination of a spicy yet sweet Barbecue Sauce with an almost three dimensional flavor.  Our favorite sauce by far and we ate it on everything.
  4. XXX:  This is Bourbon’s spiciest sauce offered.  Although we enjoyed this sauce, we found that the Delta had a deeper flavor with just a little less spice.  I recommend this sauce on the Pulled Pork for a spicy twist.

Although the offering of specialty craft Barbecue Sauces, which you can purchase online or in house,  is all well and good, let’s face it, one goes to a Barbecue Restaurant for the meat not the sauce.  I would be remiss if I did not discuss the Garbage Plate Sampler in detail and tell my loyal audience all about Bourbon’s actual Barbecue.

Kat and I attacked this monumental mound of mouthwatering meat as if we were at war with the plate, and employed the “divide and conquer “strategy.  We started with the Pulled Pork, and shoveled a healthy helping onto our plates.  We first tried these delectable slivers of swine sans Barbecue Sauce and at that moment we knew the rest of the meal was going to be utterly remarkable.  The meat was so tender, chewing it felt like overkill, all I needed to do was let it linger in my mouth for a few seconds as it dissolved on my tongue.   Then we decided to splash on a few drops of the different types of Barbecue Sauce and the pulled pork, in the immortal words of John Candy in Spaceballs, went to plaid.  All the sauces transformed this meat into something else, something almost entirely different but equally as tasty.

Next up was the Brisket which was piled high enough to be a meal of its own.  Kat and I once again divided the portion and dug in first without sauce and then with.  This may have been the best brisket Kat and I have ever had, and that is saying something since I like Brisket like Rex Ryan from the New York Jets likes feet.  The meat was tender and succulent with just the perfect pink around the outside to remind you that it lived in a smoker for quite some time.  Once again the sauces that were offered only added complexity to the already impeccable taste.

The Texas smoked sausage reminded me of the smoked Kielbasa that I make at home.  Except for Bourbon BBQ is able to get the skin to the perfect amount of crispness that I just can’t seem to achieve.  I was unsure just which barbecue sauce to match up with these crisp morsels of smokey goodness, so I ate them naked.

The piece de resistance of all Barbecue plates and really how I ultimately judge barbecue chefs is the ever important ribs.  These behemoths were not your run of the mill miniscule baby pork ribs either, these ribs looked like they came for hogasaurus.   Bourbon’s ribs are the type of ribs that make most men feel inadequate if you know what I mean, and that is just the way I like it.  At first bite I noticed that the meat did not need much help in separating from the bone, which is a great testament to the chef with ribs this size.  I was a little underwhelmed by the flavor of the ribs during my initial bite but then I added a small amount of barbecue sauce and the rib came alive like Frankenstein’s Monster.  It appeared that Bourbon’s Ribs were only cooked with a dry rub so as to allow the customer to choose the type of sauce they want to add at the time of consumption.  The sauce complemented the rib meat effortlessly and I found myself leaving not a speck of meat left hanging on the bone.

As for the sides, the Baked Beans actually have what appeared to be pulled pork in them, which made them even better than I expected.  The Cole Slaw seemed fresh and did not have that store bought chemical taste to it that leaves a bad taste in your mouth.  The Collard Greens tasted fantastic, as they were not too vinegary, which tends to happen in the north.   The corn bread was exactly as I like it, sweet enough to be a side, but not sweet enough to be dessert.  Kat on the other hand was hoping for dessert corn bread, but she was pleased with the other sides.

Not only was the food marvelous but during our dinner our server came over several times to check on us, which is always under appreciated.  Furthermore, throughout our time at this restaurant who I believed to be the General Manager walked around to every table, including our own, to speak to the customers.  One by one he approached every table and made sure that everything was cooked to their liking and just made some small talk.  Kat and I love small businesses and this added special touch made us feel like Bourbon BBQ truly cared about us, as individuals and not as just another customer.

Bourbon BBQ’s menu is quite extensive and if our first visit is any indication of how all the other items are going to taste, I can see this foodie squandering many an hour at this establishment.  Kat and I both felt that Bourbon’s amazing sampler dish can compete with any and all Barbecue joints that we have frequented in our decade together.   This combined with the fact that they are right next door in Wyckoff and their prices are truly affordable, very well may have placed them number one on our BBQ list.  So when the snow begins to fall and you place your cover on your grill for the last time this season, make sure to stop by Bourbon BBQ when you get the hankering for some good old fashioned BBQ.

 

Judgment:

Overall:                                4 out of 5

Taste:                                   5 out of 5

Presentation:                      3 out of 5

Value:                                   4 out of 5

Bourbon BBQ Hickory Smokehouse on Urbanspoon

The Blue Collar Foodie’s School of Endless Shrimp!

Sometimes foodies, out of habit, seem to be somewhat pretentious and give off a like hipster vibe.  It is this ostentatious elitism that rubs me the wrong way and basically caused me to create this blog for the everyday foodie that welcomes noteworthy food no matter where it comes from.  With that said, this week I am reviewing a chain restaurant that rarely is uttered in the foodie realm without contempt.  This chain is none other than Red Lobster.

Red Lobster is usually synonymous with sub-par seafood and over salted steaks like most large chain restaurants in America.  But once a year, Red Lobster offers a promotion that no Blue Collar Foodie should miss, and that time is now.  Endless Shrimp has returned to Red Lobster and every single server in the employ of this eatery collectively has begun to weep in unison.

Other than the servers, who honestly loathe this time of year, everyone else should be rejoicing that Red Lobster is still offering this amazing deal.  For $14.99, you can shovel unlimited quantities of Teryaki Grilled Shrimp, Parmesan Shrimp, Garlic Shrimp Scampi, Shrimp Linguine Alfredo, and Hand-breaded Shrimp, a salad, a potato, and unlimited Cheddar Bay Biscuits.  After nearly a decade of attending this event, the economics of this deal still baffle me, but I am not complaining and neither should you.

Some of you are sitting in your ergonomic office chairs adjusting your horned rimmed glasses, preparing to write me angry hate mail about the quality of the shrimp, or the fact that the parmesan cheese is not organic, and you are entitled to your own opinion but dude seriously this is ALL YOU CAN EAT SHRIMP we are talking about.  This event is not about the tantalizing Amouz-bouche or the tastefully created radish flower, this experience is all about strapping on a feed bag and attempting to devour literally an entire school of shrimp in one sitting.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for a classy black tie restaurant as you should all know if you read my blog each week, but there are sometimes that the Blue Collar in me, ties up the foodie, 50 shades of grey style, and drives me straight to yummy town.  The shrimp that Red Lobster offers during this event is not Sushi Grade by any means, but I love shrimp like fat guys like cake, so when I am offered an endless supply, I tend to get a little excited.

Before we discuss the individual types of shrimp that Red Lobster is offering this year, I think we must first discuss a good strategy for optimizing your shrimp intake.  First off, soda fills you up as does beer and wine, so I always order water with lemon as my drink selection for the evening.  Next we must discuss the Cheddar Bay Biscuits.  These miniature scrumptious morsels of sheer fatty goodness tend to be irresistible but very filling, so I try to only eat one with my salad to save room for the main course, and the reason we have decided to enter the threshold of Red Lobster to begin with.   As for the main course, I shy away from ordering a potato with my meal, because starches fill me up eight times more than any other side dish in this world, so I usually pair my shrimp with whatever vegetable they are offering.

Now that the side dishes have been discussed there is also a strategy when choosing your shrimp plates as well.  Two of the selections on the Endless Shrimp Menu seem to have been placed there with the purpose of filling you up quickly, so you reach your limit rapidly and thus saving Red Lobster some money.  The Teryaki Grilled Shrimp, although very tasty, comes with a side of rice, and the Shrimp Linguine Alfredo, are chock full of stomach filling belt loosening carbohydrates that will stop you in your tracks immediately and cause your endless shrimp adventure to come to an early end.  I am not saying don’t try these tasty dishes, all I am saying is save them for last.   Stick with the two scampi selections and the fried shrimp at first to maximize your shrimp eating ability.

In order to make this event even more enjoyable, I usually hook up with a few of my foodie friends that enjoy a good feeding frenzy and venture to Red Lobster to participate in a gluttonous eating competition that would make vegetarian’s far and wide weep for the entire crustacean community.   During one of these competitions, which get pretty heated, my record is 155 shrimp in one sitting.  I am both proud of this record and slightly disgusted with myself when I think of it.

Whether you are attending this promotion with one other person or ten other people, be aware that you are holding up a table for quite a long time, and that your waiter or waitress depends on quick turnovers, or good tips to make his/her night as good as yours.  If you are like me and can eat shrimp for 2 hours straight, please tip accordingly so the story about you that he or she tells at the bar after work starts with, “this freaking guy ate 150 shrimp” and ends with, “but he tipped well so it was all good, and it was kind of awesome to watch.”

The main thing to remember about this hedonistic affair is that sometimes, even a foodie has to recognize a great deal when he/she sees one and join us common folk at the Red Lobster and dive into some shrimp.  You can even request a plastic food bib if you don’t want to ruin your tweed jacket.  See you all there!

Red Lobster on Urbanspoon

The Blue Collar Foodie goes South Of the Bergen County Border and visits Tito’s Burritos in Morristown, New Jersey

As a foodie blogger and all around food fanatic, when one of your friends says you need to try, fill in the blank food, at, fill in the blank restaurant, you only have one option.  That option is to plan a date, and make it happen.  If I did not listen to peoples suggestions I would be sitting at the same 15 restaurants all the time, scouring their menus for something that I have not yet tried.  So with that said, while out at a bar one night when my friends told me I had to try Tito’s Burritos located at 26 Washington St., in Morristown, NJ, without hesitation and much like a 1970’s movie star, I replied sure enuff’.

After talking about this establishment for damn near 30 minutes at the bar, making our entire group famished and craving Mexican Food, I could not resist doing some research on the internet when I got home.   The Googles informed me that not only was there a Tito’s in Morristown, NJ but another location just down the street from me in Ridgewood, NJ.  Once I found out this tidbit of information I knew I was going to have to attend Tito’s Burritos as my alter ego The Blue Collar Foodie and not as the mild manner Clark Kent, so I could inform my readers all about my gastronomic adventure.

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After planning a date that fit into both of our calendars, Kat and I met up with Brian and Kristen in downtown Morristown, New Jersey to check out this trendy burrito spot.  Unfortunately, dinner time in Morristown, NJ is as crowded as Times Square on a Saturday afternoon, when it comes to finding a parking spot.  After we completed our search for a parking spot and scored a decent one thanks to the eagle eyes of our friends, we proceeded to walk towards Tito’s Burritos which about a five minute walk from our car.

Upon approaching this establishment I got a vibe that I have not felt since I visited San Diego, California and ate at a local burrito joint that was highly recommended in the downtown area.  From a distance you can tell, that Tito’s Burrito’s is not all about flashy decorations and flair like other restaurants trying to lure you in with bling only to break your heart with sub-par sustenance.

When you enter Tito’s there is a small eating area and a counter that is designed to make ordering quick and easy.   There menu is posted on the wall in giant letters so everyone can read it while the wait on line.  Gracing that menu is a myriad of Mexican dishes that would make Speedy Gonzales’s grandmother drool, and from what I heard that lady can cook.  The menu is broken down into categories for ease of use, and lists Burritos, Tacos, Salads, Nachos, Quesadillas, Kids Dishes, Sides, Wings, Chicken Strips, and Desserts.

                 First and foremost, there is the Burrito list and considering that this spot is named Tito’s Burritos and not Tito’s Tacos I think Tito knows how to rock him some yumminess wrapped in a tortilla.  The highlights include the Mac Daddy described as being filled with grilled grade A steak with black beans, yellow rice, Tito’s cheeses, sour cream, pico de gallo salsa & fresh guacamole for $9.50, or for those looking for something slightly different they offer the Hang Five Shrimp Burrito which is chock full of Sautéed garlic shrimp, with shredded cabbage, yellow rice, pico de gallo salsa & cilantro/lime sauce for $9.25.  You can also find out the Special Burrito of the Day by calling, checking the chalkboard, or by checking out Tito’s Facebook & Twitter feed to be informed.  When I visited Tito’s the special of the day was a Jamaican Jerk Burrito with jerk flavored chop meat and all the fixings.

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The rest of the menu did seem intriguing and almost tempted away from the Burrito list with offerings such as the Steak Taco, the Classic Quesadilla, and a boastful statement next to the wings that reads “THE BEST IN NEW JERSEY.”  I was tempted to stray from my first instinct, but as in life decisions like that almost always end in heartbreak and despair.  So instead of wishing I stuck with my gut, when I reached the counter I ordered the Jamaican Jerk Burrito which set me back $9.50, while Kat went with the Mac Daddy, which as stated above was also $9.50.  As for Brian and Kristen, they ordered another Mac Daddy and two steak tacos respectively.

After we ordered, I wandered around the establishment to get a feel for the restaurant.  It was obvious by the décor that Tito is into long boarding, surfing, and hanging out hippie style.  All the Tito’s swag that is for sale has a retro southern California feel to it.  Even their slogan, which is, “It’s all good,” can’t be uttered without conjuring an image of a surfer giving you the hang ten sign.  Furthermore, in the back of the restaurant there is a wall of pictures submitted by loyal customers and famous people that have all, “Shown Them Their Tito’s,” which includes flicks of Tito’s favorite customers, exotic and interesting locations where Tito’s stickers have been sighted, special events, Tito’s staff and more!  The Tito’s stickers are free with any purchase by the way.

As our order came up, I ventured to the condiment cart to dress my burrito in style.  This cart is jam-packed with all of the necessities to make your burrito ready for the gala.  Fresh made Pico De Gallo, Pickled Jalapenos, Salsa Verde, and over a dozen different hot sauces are at your fingertips to garnish your selection however you please.

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At first glance I was slightly disappointed in the overall size of my Burrito which was defined as HUMONGOUS burritos.  Now if you follow my blog, you know I have already reviewed a spot  called Blue Moon which offers burritos the size of my forearm, so I was sad to see that Tito’s did not measure up to Blue Moon’s gargantuan fare.  But as many ladies have told many men, many many times size sometimes is not all that matters.  After the first bite of this large, but slightly not HUMONGOUS, burrito, size did not matter.  The flavor that was contained in this 12 inch tortilla was all that I cared about, and it was tremendous, especially when topped off with their fantastic Guacamole.  As Kat stated by the end of the meal, I just want it to last forever because it tastes so damn good.

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The Burritos seemed to have the right balance of ingredients swimming in the proper quantity of sauce and cheese, which is a hard thing to find in a world of mass produced burritos that are put together with caulk guns and ice cream scoops with about as much care as a third rate doctor at a clinic is Botswana. These Burritos seemed to be judiciously constructed by some sort of Zen burrito master with a fifth degree black belt in yummy.  My only complaint was that according to the menu, we were supposed to offered free homemade tortilla chips with the purchase of our burritos but we never received them, nor did we ask for them because I did not realize this menu side note until as we were about to leave.

While we were finishing up our meals Brian decided to order a classic Chicken Quesadilla for  all of us to share, which of course I did not complain about because then I would get to try one more item on the menu.  The Quesadilla came with Tito’s Guacamole and Sour cream and tasted so good that even though we were all filled almost to capacity, we did not waste one bite of it.  The chicken inside was plentiful and grilled just right and when combined with the sauce and cheese made for a gooey masterpiece.
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Thanks to Brian and Kristen, Tito’s Burritos has earned a coveted spot in my regular rotation of pseudo fast food joints, and I can’t wait to try the one located on East Ridgewood Ave, in Ridgewood, NJ.  From the relaxed bohemian atmosphere to the serious eats that are served, Monday – Saturday: 11:00am to 9pm and Sunday: noon to 8pm, Tito has made this Blue Collar Foodie very pleased.  As an added bonus, if you work in the area of Ridgewood or Morristown, both Tito’s Burritos locations offer to-go orders and delivery which can save you some valuable time on your lunch hour.

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Judgment:

Overall:                  3.5 out of 5

Taste:                    4.5 out of 5

Presentation:         3 out of 5

Value:                   3 out of 5

Tito's Burritos on Urbanspoon

The Blue Collar Foodie Thais one on in Ridgewood Foodie Style at Malee!

Every foodie in Bergen County is familiar with the Ridgewood Avenue Restaurant row that offers a plethora of cuisine from every corner of the world.   The best part of this seemingly endless strip of remarkable eateries is that most of them are bring your own bottle and for the most part a reservation is usually not needed.  The latter is the key to this foodie haven because one could potentially park their car in one of the municipal lots and meander through downtown Ridgewood in search of a restaurant that tickles their fancy.    I stumbled upon Malee Fine Thai Cuisine, located at 2 East Ridgewood Avenue, in Ridgewood, New Jersey, doing just that many years ago and fell in love with their food, hospitality, and overall charm.

Ever since we happened upon Malee Thai all those years ago, whenever anybody suggests we get Thai food, I instantly recommend this establishment.  So when our friend Lorin, whom you may remember from my Blue Moon Café review, came to town and requested Thai, I knew just the place to take him.

The first thing to remember is that Malee Thai is a “bring your own bottle” restaurant, so you should stop at a liquor store on your way, or bring one of your favorites from your personal collection.  The second thing to keep in mind is that parking can be a bit of a pain in the arse, but have no fear Malee Thai is situated just minutes away from a municipal parking lot that is located just around the corner.  If you are parking in any of the lots or on the street in Ridgewood it is imperative that you read the signs regarding the rules and regulations of your parking space, or you will have a great dinner at one the Ridgewood Restaurants and then have no chariot to take you home for a relaxing after dinner cocktail.  Once you are packing a bottle or two of the happy juice, and parked LEGALLY, you can make your way to your destination.

As you approach the restaurant you may notice that there is outside seating located on their patio.  You may also notice that this beautiful outdoor region is Train Track Adjacent.  I am not saying that you should not dine outside, because on occasion I have been known to choose this option, I am merely reminding you that trains are loud and they will be close by when they whiz by your delicious meal.  I have seen too many reviews of Malee, that bring up this point and condemn the restaurant for this seemingly obvious point, as if when they sat down outside the restaurant they were oblivious of the giant train station a mere three feet from their table.  On this particular occasion, Kat, Lorin, and I decided that we were in the mood to eat inside due to the noise and the fact that it was at least 215 degrees out.

We visited Malee on a Friday at approximately 8:00 P.M. and did not have a wait at all for a table for three.  As soon as we were seated, we were greeted by our amicable server with a smile and our menus as well as three glasses of water, which on a summer evening is always appreciated.  After perusing our menus for a rather long time, due to the large selection of variety Malee offers, we finally made up our minds, and it seemed as soon as we placed our menus on the table our server arrived and was happy to take our order.

Lorin, whom is a vegetarian, had an extensive selection to examine before making his decision, which is a welcomed rarity for veg heads like Mr. P.  After quite some deliberation, his final verdict was the Vegetable Pad Woon Seng which was described as Bean thread noodles stir-fried with mixed vegetables and egg, for $14.00.  Kat, who I was almost sure, was going to order her regular surprised me once again and decided to go with the Pad See Eew which was described as steak stir-fried with thick, flat rice noodles, egg, and broccoli in a sweet brown sauce, for $12.00.   As for your fearless blogger, I ordered The Gang Ped Yang, which was described as boneless roast duck simmered in red curry sauce with fresh basil, pineapple, bell pepper, and cherry tomatoes, for $19.00.  Finally as an appetizer for the table to share we requested the Fried Tofu described as deep-fried, crispy tofu served with a tangy sauce with ground peanuts for only $5.00.

After sending our order off to the kitchen our server returned with a complimentary basket of Shrimp chips, which can be described as simply the best Styrofoam you will ever eat.  Try them and you will understand just how tasty they are.  Our server also opened the bottle of wine we brought from our personal stock, I recommend bringing a sweet white wine due to the spic that some Thai dishes deliver.  With a glass of wine in our hands and tales dripping from our tongues, we anxiously awaited our first course.

As the plate of fried Tofu arrived at our table, we all peered inquisitively at the plate in front of us.  None of us had ever had fried Tofu before, but all agreed that everything tastes better fried, so we each took a triangle of our fried goodness from the plate and dipped a corner in the sauce that was provided.  The tofu itself was pretty much what we expected, the fried out coating was crispy and fried to perfection while leaving the inside soft and palatable, yet like all Tofu slightly tasteless and bland.  Like Superman swooping in to save Louis Lane, the sauce rescued this dish; it provided a tangy and vivacious flavor that brought this dish from purgatory to heaven.

After we polished off the 6, which by the way is very good portion size for 5 bucks, fried tofu triangles, we poured ourselves another glass of wine and pontificated until our entrees departed the kitchen and landed on our table.  Their arrival caused a pause in conversation due to their brilliant appearance and intoxicating aroma.  I should add a small caveat at this point in my review and discuss the heat options that are available at Malee for most of the dishes they offer.  If a dish at Malee contains an element that is traditionally spicy they give you the option of mild, medium, hot, or very hot.  Believe me, when dealing with ethnic food, one must never be a hero.  Unless you have climbed the ladder of spice at any particular restaurant, I recommend taking some caution when ordering hot or very hot from any Thai restaurant.  The chefs at these restaurants have a very different idea of what spicy is than their Americans counterpart, so just because you can rock a five alarm chili means absolutely nothing. To be completely honest the “very hot” they serve us, from what I have been told is really their medium.  Precede with caution my fellow adventurous foodies, for the hottest I have been able to enjoy is Hot which is what I ordered on this occasion.

The food at Malee Thai is always so fresh and succulent that I am honestly never disappointed in any dish I order, but this was the first time I ordered a duck dish, and I was extremely satisfied.  The skin was crisp and the meat was juicy and tender.  As with a lot of Indian or Thai plates, my dish came with a side of rice that you place on a plate as a bed for the entree to be placed on.  The combination of the rice, the broth, and the duck concoction was tremendous.  The heat of the broth was expertly countered by the sweet pineapple and the rice, creating a flawless balanced package on every forkful.

Kat’s and Lorin’s both had noodle dishes that not only looked spectacular but seemed to offer quite a large portion size for their price.   They both must have been impressed by them as well, because by the end of our meal neither of them had any food left on their plates.  Kat commented that she was full half way through but just could not stop eating because of its phenomenal taste.

Malee Thai offers a wide variety of dishes for foodies to experiment with but I do suggest that anyone that is visiting Malee for the first time try the Pad Thai.  Pad Thai is the most commonly eaten Thai meal in the United States, and sadly most people have never had a truly great Pad Thai dish.  I have eaten at quite a few Thai spots in my day, and believe me when I say that Malee Thai has the best Pad Thai that I have eaten in the Tri-State area.

When the ambiance of Malee is combined with the food and the staff this restaurant just can’t be beat, and the fact that it is around the corner is a welcomed bonus for any family bound foodies.  To top it off, this establishment allows you to bring your own bottle of wine which can save you quite a bit of money.   I love eating at Malee, and I think if you give it a whirl, you will too.

 

Judgment:

Taste:                        4 out of 5

Presentation:          4 out of 5

Value:                       3 out of 5

Overall:                    4 out of 5

Malee Thai on Urbanspoon