The Blue Collar Foodie Embarks On A Culinary Tour Of Miami

If you read my work or know me at all you are well aware of my somewhat unhealthy obsession with all things food related. I wouldn’t say that I am a food addict but I am most definitely addicted to good food. I could see that Eli Manning like, confused yet oddly intrigued, look on your face as you read that last sentence and thought, wait, what the what, being a food addict and being addicted to good food are two different things. Let me explain. A food addict does not care what they shovel into their Honey Boo Boo sized mouth hole, because they love the sheer act of eating, I however love the act of eating good, no great, food.

Now that we have established that in the, “hierarchy of my love”, which by the way would have made a banging title for an 80’s love ballad, the order is as follows; my wife, my family (furry and not so furry), and my food. Fulfilling, this constant need for a foodie fare fix is about as hard as finding crack in Camden, in the Northeast, but when I am planning to go on vacation, a skinny, sad voice in the back of my head whispers scary thoughts like, “What if you eat at the wrong Taco stand.” Once this kernel of doubt is implanted in my skull, I immediately begin to panic. OMG! WTF! And several other silly ass acronyms that my older readers will have to google. What if I really do eat at the wrong Taco Stand? I will lose all sorts of Foodie Street Cred! I will no longer be able to call myself a Gastronaut or an Epicurean! As I take the brown paper bag out, that once held my Cronut, and breathe deeply into it to stop my hyperventilating, I remember that I am okay. I got a system, and that system works!

My system is foolproof guys and it not only helps you find the best food available in the area it also puts a big fat smile on the faces of food bloggers everywhere. Next time you decide to go on vacation, contact the Top 20 or so food bloggers on Urbanspoon.com for the region that you are headed. Write a very simple e-mail that includes a little bit about yourself and what type of food you are looking for, then sit back and wait. Unless you contacted the world’s worst food bloggers most of these food bards will be glad to help you in your time of need.

MCTThis system has never failed me so as Kat and I prepared to visit Miami for one night before boarding our cruise ship, I followed the BCF way. Spoiler Alert! I was not disappointed with the sage advice that was hurled at me from my fellow blogosphere citizens. Damn near every one of them that I contacted suggested a few restaurants to try, but most of them then added that if I truly wanted the Miami Food Experience of a lifetime, I should check out Miami Culinary Tours. I let my fingers do some walking and researched this foodie friendly tour before I devised my pitch to the wonderful little lady. After a few short minutes of checking out their website, my pitch was pretty much sending a link via G-Chat and writing the ever poignant comment, WE NEED TO DO THIS!!! Note the three exclamation points for added pitchiness.

For those of you who are too lazy to click the link above and read about this amazing foodie phenomenon, I will give you the basic idea. Miami Culinary Tours combines the educational experience of learning about the architecture, history, and culture of the beautiful South Beach area with the flare of the tremendous local foodie scene to create a close to three hour eating orgy that leaves you full from your belly to your brain.

After Kat perused the website for all of about two minutes and saw the scrumptious photos of some of the food that we may be able to try on this tour, it was just a matter of booking our tour. The tour itself costs $59.00 per person and at first sounds steep. But as you will soon discover this tour is well worth the price of admission.

After we booked our epicurean excursion we were informed of the clandestine meeting place where the tour would begin. Nothing for nothing but the fact that this rally point was kept secret until I purchased the tickets made me feel like I was some sort of foodie spy, and only added to the allure of this tour.

When we arrived in Miami we were so excited about the Miami Culinary Tour that we actually arrived at the rendezvous spot early. That is right, I said early, and not us early, but actual human being early, and if you know my wife and I you know that is about as commonplace as Charlie Sheen turning down nose candy.

We followed the directions in the e-mail that we received and found our tour guide, Richy Marchosky, who was extremely warm and inviting right off the bat. He checked us in swiftly, reminded us to grab a bottle of water for the tour and then gave us the very simple directions to the first stop on the tour, where we could comfortably wait for the tour to commence.

Miami Tour AnglersOur Miami Culinary expedition started outside the first venue of our tour with our guide Richy, introducing himself and having us introduce ourselves as well. Richy’s background in performing was immediately apparent; he was inviting, funny, and informative within the first sixty seconds of the tour.   This brief prologue seemed to melt away any anxiousness that was in the group and thanks to Richy’s charismatic and professional approach everyone in the group was instantly ready for a good time.

Our first stop was a charming boutique hotel from the 1930’s, The Angler’s that we were informed Earnest Hemingway frequented. Not sure what to expect on this tour, I slowly walked into the hotel half expecting a half assed blurb about the food that we were going to eat and then a napkin full of food. I was very happy to be all sorts of wrong. We were escorted into a private area where we were all offered comfy seats and then the show really started. Richy began to talk to us not only about the food that we were going to eat but about the history and architecture of Miami and this building. While we were all busy soaking up as much Miami knowledge as we could, our food arrived.

Miami CevicheOur first dish could not have been more beautiful, we were served a gorgeous plate of Sea Bass Ceviche served with Leche de tigre, or tiger’s milk. This Peruvian concoction contains lime juice, sliced onion, chiles, salt, pepper, and just a bit of fish juice. Leche De Tigre is believed to not only cure a hangover, which in Miami, the party capital of the world, is a necessity, it is also said to be an aphrodisiac. I am pretty sure the medicinal claims of this fare are not F.D.A. approved but as for the taste I assure you it is B.C.F. approved. The best part was as we ate each bite of yummy, Richy continued to serve us mini morsels of Miami factoids.

Once our plates were clean, we were out the door and on the street in no time and on our way to our next foodie approved establishment. On the way Richy continued to point our famous buildings, celebrity hot spots, and the wonderful architecture that has become symbolic of the Miami area. We soon arrived our destination and entered into Bolivar, a modern lounge like eatery that was described as Colombian-Peruvian-Venezuelan gastronomical fusion; try to say that 10 times fast.

Beer Miami Once again we were whisked inside where place settings were already prepared for us and a cocktail was waiting. The refreshing cocktail that was awaiting our arrival was none other than a traditional Colombian Refajo, or beer mixed with soda. After walking in the still humid and hot Miami November, this mélange hit the spot flawlessly. While Miami cultural facts were flung around the room, our group began to loosen up, partially thanks to Richy’s personality and somewhat thanks to beer that was being sipped as our next sampling arrived.

Miami EmpanadaThe smell of this dish was as intoxicating as the beverage that was being served. The Patacones, Fried Green Plantain Chips, were crispity, crunchity, and delicious. Sharing a plate with the banana’s sexier Latin cousin was an empanada that could literally put Pfizer out of business. The Columbian Chicken and Potato empanada was more stimulating than Sofía Vergara doing the Tango by itself, but when combined with the spicy savory sauce that it was served with there is not a blue pill in the world that is more potent.

Richy once again expertly gathered us all together, and ushered to the next establishment spouting tidbits of information all the way to our next stop. As we passed some of the most famous sights of the South Beach area I realized that I must truly be a foodie because instead of being excited that I just walked past a building that was filmed in Scar Face, I was anticipating our next nosh.

Meat Twinkie After enjoying the scenery of South Beach and walking off a few of the calories we just ingested we arrived at David’s Cafe, a South Beach institution which has been serving delicious authentic Cuban Food for over 35 years. David’s Café offered a walk up take out window for those in a rush, or a quite familiar diner like sit down area if you prefer to stay a while.  David’s Café presented us a fried stuffed Yucca dish that I can only describe as a Meat Twinkie, which of course I do with the utmost compliments to David’s Café, considering that I love meat, TWSS, and my love for Twinkies makes Tallahassee’s obsession look like a summer fling. If these gorgeous deep fried log of tastiness was not enough, David Café’ and Miami Culinary Tours had one more thing in store for us, Columbian Freaking Coffee. The combination of walking and eating had depleted most of our batteries by this point, but as if Richy was Jesus and this nectar of the gods was communion, we partook and we were revitalized.

Miami CoffeeChock full of nuts, TWSS, and buzzing down the street all hopped up on Meat Twinkies and caffeine we were on our way to yet another stop, Charlotte’s Bakery.   When we arrived, I can’t lie I was somewhat sad that we were going to eat another empanada, considering we had just eaten one at Bolivar. I soon learned that A., there can never be too many Empanadas, and B., no two empanadas are the same. Thanks to Miami Culinary Tours, I was about to eat my very first Argentinian Empanada and by the aroma that was wafting throughout this fine establishment I had a feeling I was going to like it. At first glance you can easily see that this was not your grandmother’s empanada, well at least not the grandmother of the owner of Empanada Mania, who usually cooks my empanadas, you get my point, it was different people, work with me. The dough appeared to be a pastry type dough and the green sauce that was served with it was unlike any empanada dipping sauce I had ever seen. As I took my first bite, I could almost hear the Argentine National Anthem playing in my brain, as every taste bud in my mouth stood at attention saluting their flag with honor and integrity. Okay so I had google the Anthem, but you catch my drift, this fried doughy masterpiece was remarkable!

Argentinian Empanda At this point you could see some of the newbie gastronomers hitting the wall, so Richy explained to them that they could get a doggie bag if need be because the next few stops were just as important as the first few. After a short walk we found ourselves in front of a Pizzeria and Deli named Blocks. What is so special about a Pizzeria you ask, well that is a great question. The answer is simple, Blocks is Home to The Mother Dough. The process for the Mother Dough was started 300 years ago, and is continued to this day in this small Pizza Shop in Miami. The yeast for the dough is kept alive by adding water and flour on a daily basis, never missing a single day. This process was lost during the industrial era because this process took too much time and effort, but Blocks is attempting to bring it back one square block of pizza at a time.

PIzza Blocks We were given the opportunity to try the Sun Dried Hippie, which consisted of Sun Dried Tomatoes, Feta, baby spinach, basil pesto, and kalamato olives all in a pocket of Mother Dough. I can see why 300 years ago people were kind of into this dough, it was scrumptious. Not to mention the fresh ingredients that were combined within it, married perfectly to create a wonderful and not to be forgotten sandwich.

RugalaEven though I am a glutton, I have to admit I was slowly reaching my limit, but Richy assured us that the last two stops on this culinary carousel were desserts, and as everyone knows there is always room for dessert. As we approached our destination my internal New Yorker, that all Tri-Staters have, smiled from within and I could hear him whisper, which is louder than most other states inner voices scream, “forgetaboutit.” We arrived at Jerry’s Famous Deli, which appeared to be a traditional Jewish Deli with a little Miami Flare and as Richy spoke about this Miami staple, he passed out Raspberry Rugala. This Rugala would have made my Grandmother sob longer and harder than she did when my Grandfather finally got home from Korea. In fact, if you know her don’t mention that I boasted about having amazing Rugala, because I will be guilted into going back to Miami just to get her some. Wait, on second thought tell her immediately, not even my wife can stand up to the power of Jewish Guilt, and that means I can take this tour again.

GelatoLast but not least we made our way to Milani Gelateria where we were offered a sample of Gelato which honestly tasted like it was flown to Miami in the Pope’s personal Pope Jet. The texture was smooth yet creamy and the flavor selection was better than most Gelato places I found in Italy. This was the perfect ending to this amazing tour considering that after all the food we just consumed and all the blocks we walked in the Miami heat, nothing could have tasted better than a little Gelato.

A quote from the founder of this food centric tour Grace Della can be found on the website and I feel that it embodies the passion and objective of the Miami Culinary Tour quite well, “We offer a different perspective on Miami because we are food people, we like to experience other cultures and learn about new places through food, we find comfort in such.”  This philosophy is exactly what drew me to this tour and ultimately is why I would recommend this tour to any foodie that finds themselves in Miami.

The restaurants, eateries, and cafés that Kat and I visited on this tour were absolutely amazing and we would have never found them without Richy and Miami Culinary Tours. If you are serious about food and want to find out what Miami has to offer, this tour is a must to find out how full of awesome sauce that Miami Culinary scene truly is.

The Blue Collar Foodie Praises His Hometown’s Dish Eatery

Dish's Broiled Trout

Dish’s Broiled Trout

As Elton John once sang, “It’s the Circle of Life and it moves us all, through despair and hope, through faith and love, till we find our place on the path unwinding, in the circle, the circle of life.”  This strangely deep and poignant verse from a song that was created for a Disney movie not only describes the circle of life for living creatures but explains the development, growth, and eventual demise of eateries as well.  As Simba learns through the Lion King, mourning cannot be perpetual and a time comes when one must end the lamentation phase and move on to the acceptance stage.

When a restaurant closes its doors for the last time, it is always a time full of melancholy and sorrow, but as many a Disney movie has taught us, that gloomy period will eventually give birth to a ray of hope, because as one chapter ends another one is sure to follow.  The Brunch Club Café in Fair Lawn was a staple on Fair Lawn Avenue for as long as I can remember, so when the doors were closed for the last time, I, like most Fair Lawnites, were sad to see them go.  Soon after though, as I drove, walked, or ran past, I noticed the resurrection had begun and after several weeks from the ashes of the Brunch Club rose the Dish Eatery located at 19-01 Fair Lawn Ave., Fair Lawn, N.J. 07410.

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Dish Eatery on Urbanspoon

The Blue Collar Foodie Praises His Hometown’s Dish Eatery

As Elton John once sang, “It’s the Circle of Life and it moves us all, through despair and hope, through faith and love, till we find our place on the path unwinding, in the circle, the circle of life.” This strangely deep and poignant verse from a song that was created for a Disney movie not only describes the circle of life for living creatures but explains the development, growth, and eventual demise of eateries as well. As Simba learns through the Lion King, mourning cannot be perpetual and a time comes when one must end the lamentation phase and move on to the acceptance stage.

Dish Eatery

When a restaurant closes its doors for the last time, it is always a time full of melancholy and sorrow, but as many a Disney movie has taught us, that gloomy period will eventually give birth to a ray of hope, because as one chapter ends another one is sure to follow. The Brunch Club Café in Fair Lawn was a staple on Fair Lawn Avenue for as long as I can remember, so when the doors were closed for the last time, I, like most Fair Lawnites, were sad to see them go. Soon after though, as I drove, walked, or ran past, I noticed the resurrection had begun and after several weeks from the ashes of the Brunch Club rose the Dish Eatery located at 19-01 Fair Lawn Ave., Fair Lawn, N.J. 07410.

Kat and I watched this transformation while passing by a few times a week, waiting patiently for the open sign in the window to act as our Bat-Signal, calling out to us to join them for a meal. Once we saw that they were open for business, Kat opened her magical date book, yes she still uses a datebook and not a Google Calendar, and yes I have tried to modernize this process, but I am pretty sure that it would be easier to teach Chris Brown that punching people is bad than to pry this book of many dates from her cold dead hands.  Unfortunately our date book reads like The Silmarillion and is about as thick as well so we were unable to plan an outing to this establishment until October 29th in celebration of my Mother’s Birthday. I won’t tell you what milestone birthday she was celebrating because she reads this and would not be amused if I blurted her age from the internet’s rooftops, but let’s just say it starts with an S and rap rhymes with pixie.

Dish Radish

I broke one of my foodie rules for this restaurant because it is located in my hometown, and I wanted to try it very badly. Normally I would never stage a celebration meal at an eatery that I have yet to taste test first, but the Googles had nothing bad to say about Dish Eatery, so I figured the risk would be worth the reward. As we entered the newly remodeled eatery, I was enormously impressed by the transformation that had occurred with the confines of this establishment. As many former Brunch Club patrons would tell you, although they enjoyed the restaurant while it was opened, it always felt somewhat cramped when you were inside it. The Dish Eatery however, had a very open and spacious feel to it. Furthermore, the contemporary scheme that Dish Eatery decided to use as their interior design gives off a welcoming and fresh vibe.

Inside Dish

Once we were seated at our table, our server, Mike, asked if we wanted our bottle of wine to be opened, that is right, Dish Eatery is B.Y.O.B. which as you all know, this Blue Collar Foodie loves more than Richard Simmons loves exercise. With our wine opened, glasses full, and our menus in hand, we began to discuss the most important decision of the night, the food that would grace our table. Since this was my first voyage to Dish Eatery and it was a celebration, I figured that an appetizer for the table was in order, and with the help of our knowledgeable server, we decided upon the Mediterranean Platter which includes Hummus, Eggplant Caviar, and Shepard Salad served with warm fresh flatbread.

After ordering the appetizer, our focus once again turned towards the task at hand. While attempting to decide what we wanted to consume, our server brought over a basket of pita and a complementary dipping sauce. Since we were all somewhat starving, we tried this cream cheese like concoction while making our final decisions, and I was very impressed by it. The spices were subtle, yet flavorful and the consistency was perfect for spreading on the warm pita bread creating a perfect palate enhancing amuse bouche. With a few slices of pita down, we signaled Mike that we were ready to order our meals. My mother decided upon the Luleh Kabob on Flatbread, which was described as ground sirloin with a blend of spices, lettuce, tomato, onion, cucumber on a flatbread with a side of yogurt cucumber dressing, Kat decided on the Grilled Chicken Skewers with Roast vegetables, and my father and I both chose to try the Broiled Trout, that was paired with diced tomatoes, Cucumbers, Capers, Black Olives, and Basil topped with a lime dressing. I also ordered enough Sour Cherry Rice for four serving to act as a side dish to our now ordered entrees.

Dish Mediterranean Platter

Shortly after ordering our entrees, the Mediterranean Platter arrived at our table and it looked and smelled enticingly beautiful. Armed with a new basket of bread, I tore a piece of pita off and dipped tried each potion separately. My first victim was the hummus, which I have become quite a connoisseur of since Kat and I embarked on our health food mission, and I was very impressed. I find that some establishments that construct homemade hummus add entirely too much Tahini and fail to get the perfect consistency, but I can assure you that Dish Eatery does not fall into these conventional culinary snares. The hummus that Dish is churning out has an impeccable balance of spices and calmness that pairs flawlessly with the pita and leaves you wanting more and more.

After two trips to the hummus fountain, I turned my attention to my second prey, the Eggplant Caviar. I assumed that after tasting the hummus, the rest of this platter was going to pale in comparison.   Hello wrong, nice to me you again, I don’t know if you remember me but I am The Blue Collar Foodie, and my wife simply loves when we meet up. The caviar, which contains no fish eggs but utilizes the word caviar loosely, was divine. Dish Eatery once again found the faultless symmetry between flavor bomb and subtle texture to create a bowl full of yummy that harmonized with the Pita almost better than Peanut Butter does with Jelly.

Last up in the Mediterranean Platter was the Shepard’s Salad which was a wonderful palate cleanser that prepared us for the meal that was imminent. The freshness and quality of the produce was evident with each forkful of this vibrant and bright salad. The light and airy dressing added to the almost thirst quenching element of this delightful mixture.

After our appetizer delivered several blows of “wake the hell up” to our taste buds, we started to get the idea that Dish Eatery was not a light weight in the realm of gastronomic fight club and waited eagerly to taste our main courses. We did not have to wait long, before our meals were delivered and if the smell was any indication, we were in for one hell of a round two.

Dish Broiled Trout

After taking the compulsory snap shots for your reading enjoyment, I compiled the perfect bite of fish and garnish on my fork which I slowly conveyed to my mouth.   One bite after another, I found myself in flavor country. Even though the preparation of this dish seemed fairly simplistic, the flavor was extremely complex and deep. As I striped my trout to nothing more than a skeleton and a head, I savored each and every morsel while I peppered a bite of sour cherry rice in the mix to shake it up a bit.

Sour Cherry Rice

The rice was ordered as an afterthought honestly, just something as a placeholder to represent a starch to create a healthy balanced meal, but I am exceptionally pleased that I ordered it. It was the first time I have ever tried Sour Cherry Rice, but it most certainly won’t be the last. The rice itself was flavored and cooked to the standard I now expected from Dish Eatery, but I fell in love with the Cherries that were mixed in the rice something fierce.

Chicken Kebob

As for my tablemates, I can only guess that they loved their meals as much as I did because, Kat who seriously never forgets to let me try her meal was too busy enjoying it to save me some. As for my mother and father, they were singing the praises of this new eatery throughout the meal and both seemed extremely pleased with their dinners.

Dish Steak

Since we were celebrating my Mother’s birthday, after we finished eating our main courses, we decided that dessert was simply a must. Mike, our server, cleared our table and delivered the dessert menus with a caveat. He informed us that all the ice cream that is served at Dish Eatery was homemade and tonight’s was Saffron Pistachio. I immediately was intrigued by the thought of homemade ice cream and made a motion for the chocolate brownie with the aforementioned ice cream, a point which was acknowledged and seconded by my mother. Kat and my father however were enticed by with the Fresh Sugar Donut Bites served with a trio of dipping sauces. Unlike the United States Government, we were able to come to a compromise and decided to get both desserts and share them amongst the four of us.

Dish Donuts

This was the best decision I had made since I said I do and married my wonderful wife. I was torn between which of the two desserts I, as a sixteen year old girl would say, hearted more, but I assure you I could not have lived without either one. The ice cream had the consistency that only homemade ice cream can deliver, and it was just the right amount of sweetness to compliment the brownie instead of over power it. As for the light and fluffy donut bites, I loved the playfulness of the several dipping sauces that were provided allowing us to create our own flavor amalgamation.

As I stated way back when you started reading this review turned novel, it is always depressing when a restaurant closes its doors, but it makes it much easier, when a foodie hot spot such as The Dish Eatery is born from the vestiges. I implore every foodie that lives in the vicinity of Fair Lawn, NJ to pilgrimage to this shiny new epicurean delight as soon as your date book will allow it. Dish Eatery must have consulted some sort of mad Gastronomic Algebra Professor before opening their doors because they have achieved the perfect foodie formula; A relaxed modern atmosphere + Superior Service *Food that is so fresh it would get slapped by its own mother/Flavor explosions larger than those in a Michael Bay Movie = Dish Eatery.

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Barcelona's Pizza

Big Portions, Great Prices, and A Forkful Of Nostalgia Can Be Had By All At Barcelona’s In Garfield, NJ

Like most food bloggers I love to scour the internets and discover the shiny new restaurant in the area so I can post about them before anyone else. But even though the thrill of the hunt is half the fun of this hobby turned damn near full time job, I try my hardest to follow the advice of one of my favorite punk bands of all time, H2O, “don’t forget your roots!”

My foodie roots firmly established themselves when I was quite young, and my father and I would watch Yan Can Cook , The Frugal Gourmet, or Julia Child, the OG’s, Original Gourmets, of Food Television before he entered the kitchen to create a random concoction that none of us had ever, or would ever eat again.  I still to this day carry on that tradition when I cook by throwing caution to the wind and mixing flavors together based off an idea not a recipe.

It was not only these pre-pubescent culinary kitchen escapades that lured me into the sordid realm of the epicurean, it was also the local eateries that my family would journey to when my parents could scape together enough spare cash.  Since saving money was always a concern, we never ventured to places that would be considered gourmet by the one-percenters, but through the rose colored glasses of a child, the places we went were enchanted.

Barcelona's Restaurant and Bar

Barcelona’s Restaurant and Bar

Still to this day I am drawn to establishments that harness that old world, blue collar charm that I covet, like Twitter followers are flocking to Sir Patrick Stewarts amazing tweets .  Places like Dp’s in GarfieldPub 199 in Mount Arlington and of course Barcelona’s Restaurant and Bar located at 38 Harrison Ave, in Garfield, NJ, have a certain, “je ne sais quoi” that people that would normally punch people for saying things like, je ne sais quoi, absolutely love.

When you pull up to a restaurant such as Barcelona’s, you may feel as if you just exited a police call box that is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside  with a Doctor that shares a name with a famous first baseman.    In other words, restaurants like these are a blast from the past, before decorators were hired to build business, television shows praised dives, and social media marketing firms spread your name, these mom and pop shops survived on word of mouth advertising, quality food at a fair price, and a wait staff that made you feel as if you were home.

Barcelona's Garfield

Welcome to Barcelona’s

As you enter Barcelona’s, you will be greeted by one of the welcoming employees that will seat you in the dining area or point you to the bar.  Once you are seated in your region of choice, you will be given their famous and extensive menu, that if you are anything like me will take you quite some time to peruse.  Fortunately for us, who make food decisions slower than a 14.4k modem was able to download a naughty picture, Barcelona’s offers a full wine, beer, and cocktail menu in order to assist you in passing the decision making time.

On my last visit to this nostalgic land of foodie goodness, I brought my parents out, along with my wife to celebrate my Father’s birthday.  We won’t say how old he is, but we will say that when he was born the Dodgers still played in Brooklyn, the Lakers in Minneapolis, and Harry S. Truman was eating Cornmeal Dumplings with Turnip Greens in the White House.  At Barcelona’s it is not uncommon to see several generations of families huddled around a table pontificating and politicking while breaking bread together, as if it was the old days and we were no different on this occasion.

Pitcher of Beer

Nothing washes down great food like a cheap pitcher o’ beer.

As we sipped our cocktails, we meticulously read the menu as if the perfect item was going to leap off the page at our taste buds.  To be honest though, I have never had anything that was sub-par at Barcelona’s, so I could technically close my eyes and play pin the fork on the menu game and be satisfied, but where is the fun in that.

Since my mother and my wife were giving me the same death stare which regardless of the translation made every single hair on the back of my neck stand at attention, I decided that my time with the menu had come to an end, and it was time to make my final decision.  As always, I deferred to ordering last to give me that last 30 seconds to make up my mind.  While I was scanning the menu faster than Dr. Sheldon Cooper can read a comic, my mother ordered the Spinach Ravioli, Kat ordered Chicken “Italian Style,” and my father ordered an Antipasto Salad, a small Sausage Pizza, and an order of mussels… and you wondered where I get my appetite from.  With reckless abandon, I spewed forth my order, which consisted of a plate of mussels and Spaghetti with Anchovy Sauce.

Antipasto Salad

Nothing like taking a healthy salad and topping it with everything that is unhealthy and tasty in the kitchen

As we discussed the world outside Barcelona’s from the friendly confines of this welcomed time warp, we all felt at ease.  Kat was not even playing Candy Crush at the dinner table, perhaps due to some sort of anti-technology force field that Barcelona’s emits from their kitchen, but it was a nice change of pace.

While we were all immersed in conversation, our food began to arrive at our table.  The portion size compared to the price was all sorts of preposterous, and that is just how I like it.  As we partook in what always tastes like a home cooked meal at Barcelona’s, we all just smiled and chewed.

Barcelona's Pizza

Not liking this pizza is downright UnAmerican!

If you are a Barcelona’s virgin, I highly recommend at least sampling the thin crust pizza that has become somewhat famous in the area.  The sauce is downright delightful, the cheese is of the utmost quality, and the home made dough is the perfect texture.  I also always recommend trying one of the many pasta dishes that Barcelona’s has to offer, as they are an Italian restaurant at heart, and every pasta dish I have ever tried has been simply delicious.  My pasta with Anchovy Sauce was not the exception to this rule either, the expertly cooked, Al dente, pasta paired with the salty goodness, TWSS, of the sauce was flawless.  To add to the wonderfulness of my meal, the mussels that I ordered were larger than most and extremely tender.

Pasta with Anchovy Sauce

Barcelona’s knows Pasta like Bo knows well everything!

The décor and the sentimentality of Barcelona’s is not the only thing that is circa 1970’s dining, the prices are as well.  This family owned and operated eatery is still a place that an entire household can come to and find something to eat at an affordable and fair price.  For over 74 years Barcelona’s of Garfield has been serving North Jersey families as if they were part of their own. Every time I have entered this legendary blue collar eatery, I have not only been satisfied with the meal, but my wallet has left a lot heavier than it would have if we ate at any of the newfangled restaurants that pride themselves on razz ma tazz instead of tradition.  Don’t get me wrong, I love me some razz ma tazz as much as every employer that has ever watched Barney Stinson’s video resume, but sometimes all I want is large quantities of magnificent food served at a reasonable price, sans the flair, and that is why I love dining at places like Barcelona’s.

Note:  Barcelona’s technology defeating force field apparently works on credit card machines as well, so when you venture to this all American old school Italian joint make sure to bring your Benjamins.  Although, they were nice enough to find an ATM that is equipped with an anti-technology nullifier for your convenience, which is located on site.

Italian Style Chicken

The Italian Style Chicken Is Quite Photogenic

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The Big Brew Beer Festival Version 2.0

There are not many things in this universe that get me more excited than Tommy Chong at 4:19 P.M. on April 20th in Amsterdam, but a Beer Festival happens to be one them.   For those of you that have never heard of this amazing phenomenon, here is a brief description that should make you feel worse than Homer Simpson after he eats his soul donut, for not knowing about these events sooner.  A beer festival is comparable to Comic Con, except instead of all the comics and fan boys dressed in tights, there is a shit ton of beer.

In other words these events attempt to showcase the best craft beer our wonderful planet has to offer, and for a reasonable fee, you get to taste all the hops and barley your belly and brain can handle.  Furthermore, most of these events pair their adult sodas with other mantastic goodies, including but not limited to food, spirits, party paraphernalia, and many more products that make men swoon like fashionistas smack dab in the middle of the Avenue des Champs-Elysées in Paris.

Big Brew Beer Fest Ballon Mug

Welcome to The Big Brew Beer Festival!

On September 28, 2013 The Big Brew Beer Festival took over The Morristown Armory and dropped a proverbial beer bomb barrage on Morris County that will from this point on be known as the Belch that was heard around the world.  After taking some lumps after last year’s event, to say The Big Brew Beer Festival improved slightly, is like saying that Breaking Bad was kind of a good show.  It was apparent that the head honchos of the Big Brew Beer Festival not only took every complaint from last year seriously, they took this year as a challenge to make The Big Brew Beer Festival into what they envisioned it could become from the very beginning.  Their hard work and dedication created a Craft Beer event that New Jersians could be proud of.  Which is no simple accomplishment considering that Grumpy Cat ain’t got nothing on us Jersey folk.  We can hate on literally anything!

New Jersey Vs. Grumpy Cat

The Battle For The Hating Championship Of The World Begins Now!!!

There were three ticket options for the two sessions of hoppy shenanigans at The Big Brew Beer Festival.  One could purchase a V.I.P. ticket for $75.00, a general admission ticket for $45.00, or a designated driver ticket for a measly $10.00, which happened to come with 1,000 Karma Points for making sure your inebriated friends got home safely.  The V.I.P tickets granted you access to the event one hour earlier than the general public, entrance to the V.I.P. beer area, and free food from the Morris Tap & Grill V.I.P. spread.

Now it is the time that I stand on my soapbox that is obviously filled with beer bottles, and preach to my congregation.  My fellow foodies and craft beer geeks, I ask you one very simple question?  Was there really ever a choice of what ticket we had to purchase?  I mean honestly, if you consider yourself even a half-ass Cicerone or Gourmand the list of beers and food that the V.I.P. ticket offered was worth well more than the $30.00 dollars extra you paid, not to mention the one-hour head start.  If you screwed up and purchased the general admission ticket this time around, I will let it slide and not report you to your respective guilds, but remember for next time, and there will be a next time, you can scrimp and save on health care, car insurance, and your significant others but never, not ever, on food and drink!

Let The Games Begin!

Let The Games Begin!

What was that? Do we have some non-believers in the crowd?  Let me drop some hop –knowledge on you in the form of the V.I.P. beer list:

Tuckahoe Brewing Co. – Holly Beach Pumpkin Ale
Ommegang – Game of Thrones “Take the Black”
Duvel – Tripel Hop
Captain Lawrence – Xtra Gold
Brooklyn – Silver Anniversary
Starr Hill Brewery – Smoke Out (Limited Release)
Ramstein – Barrel aged, dry hopped Oktoberfest
Victory Brewing – Ranch DIPA Double Simcoe, 4 Hop Bock
Boulder Beer Co. – Honey-of-a-Saison
Epic – Brainless On Cherries
Flying Dog – Gonzo
Great Divide – Wolfgang Doppelbock
Neshaminy Creek – Highwater Hefeweizen
Oskar Blues – G’night Imperial Red
Sly Fox – Black Raspberry Reserve
Smuttynose – Homunculus
Stone – 17th Anniversary
Weyerbacher – Blasphemy
Yards – Cicada Indigenous Ale
Slumbrew – Attic & Eave Toasted Brown Ale
LakeFront Brewery – 25th Anniversary Brandy Barrel Imperial Pumpkin
3 Beards Beer Company – Bearded Lady Rye & Raspberry Belgian Pale Ale
Big Muddy Brewing – 17th St. Smoked Amber Ale 

Boom!  As long as you did not just jump onto the Craft Beer bandwagon to impress your mates or shag a scrummy girly, that list should have made you randier than Austin Powers on ten Viagra pills at the Bunny Ranch!

Still not convinced eh?  Alright maybe I have to appeal to the carnivore within you, to persuade you to purchase the right ticket on February 15, 2014, when the Big Brew Beer Festival comes back to town.  The following is the jaw dropping, palate appeasing, foodie approved V.I.P. menu that was brought to you by the culinary mastermind Chef Eric LeVine and his prodigious crew from The Morris Tap & Grill:

Smoked Beef Brisket Sliders with Cole Slaw

Smoked Beef Brisket Sliders

Smoked Beef Brisket Sliders with Cole Slaw:  These sliders may have been like Tyrion Lannister in stature, but their flavor reminded me of his on screen presence, large and in charge.  The subtle smokiness of the brisket paired exquisitely with the tangy slaw to create an impeccable bite of awesomeness.

Beer Braised Pork Cheeks with Garlic Mashed Potato

You Cheeky Bastard!

Beer Braised Pork Cheeks with Garlic Mashed Potatoes:  Some people are turned off by pork cheeks, and to them I say, “good, more for me.”  The cheek is a fantastically tender muscle that when served right, and it was prepared by Morris Tap & Grill so you already know it was, in my opinion can be the best part of the pig.  That is except for, of course, the belly, which is where Bacon Town is located and is more sacred than the Pope, Jesus, and the Vatican combined.

Chicken Carnitas with Beer Pickles

Mmmmm Beer Pickles!

Chicken Carnitas with Beer Pickles:  The chicken that stuffed these carnitas was not only bursting with flavor but was so moist and juicy the taco shell almost could not contain all the spicy goodness that it was charged to protect.   The addition of the beer pickles was a stroke of genius and created an expertly balanced dish.

White chocolate and Busted Barrel Caramel Mousse

A spoonful of happiness

White chocolate and Busted Barrel Caramel Mousse:  After demolishing all the savory food that the Morris Tap & Grill was offering the V.I.P. guests, there was only one dish left to sample.  This light and airy mousse was the perfect ending to the flawless lunch that was provided by the MTG staff.  Not only did it taste like a spoonful of heaven with a drizzle of OMG, it was not overtly heavy which left enough space to tackle the tremendous amount of beers that The Big Brew Beer Festival still had to offer.

I know this is a blog so you can see that I just dropped the microphone on the ground and walked off the stage.  If the beer list and the food pictures did not make you drool like a politician during lobbyist season, then I think you may be reading the wrong blog.  Perhaps this blog is more your speed, Dr. Dull Mc. Boringstien.

After enjoying all the thirst quenching bucket list beers that the V.I.P. area had to offer and chowing down on the amazing concoctions that the Morris Tap & Grill provided, it was time to venture to the 100 plus tables that littered the gigantic convention center.  The Following is a list of these wonderful purveyors of the sudtastic and intoxicating:

This small mug packs a lot of flavor!

The Vessel To Flavor Country!

3 Beards Brewing – Lumberjack Black Lager, CowPuncher IPA
Ace Cider – Pumpkin, Perry, Apple
Abita – Turbo Dog, Purple Haze
Anchor Brewing – Big Leaf Maple Red, California Lager, Liberty IPA
Alchemy & Science – Curious Traveler, Just IPA
Big Muddy Brewing – Galaxy IPA, Vanilla Stout
Blue Point – White IPA, RastafaRye
B Nektar Meadery – Evil Genius, Black Fang, Necromangdon
Bolero Snort Brewery – Blackhorn American Black Lager, Ragin’ Bull Amber Lager, There’s No Rye-ing in Basebull Rye Beer
Boulder – Mojo IPA, Hazed and Infused, Sweaty Betty, Kinda Blue
Breckenridge – Regal Pils, Vanilla Porter
Brooklyn – Oktoberfest, Blast!
Butternuts Brewing – Porkslap Pale Ale
Captain Lawrence – Pumpkin Ale, Captain’s Reserve Imperial IPA
Carton Brewing Company – Boat Beer, Pumpkin Cream Ale, Carton of Milk Stout
Climax Brewing – Oktoberfest, ESB
Crabbies – Ginger Ale
Cricket Hill -Fall Festivus, East Coast Lager, Hopnotic IPA
Doc’s Cider – Pumpkin Cider, Apple Cider
Duvel – Duvel Single, Maredsous Brune
East Coast Brewing Co. – BeachHaus Cruiser IPA, Winter Rental, BeachHaus Pils
Epic – Smoke and Oak, Barley Wine
Firestone Walker Brewing Company – Union Jack, Double Jack, Reserve
Flying Dog – Snake Dog, Dogtoberfest
Flying Fish Brewing Company – Oktoberfish, Exit 4, ESB – only on draft
Fort Collins Brewing – Major Toms American Wheat
Full Sail – Existential Ale, IPA
Goose Island Beer Company – Pere Jacques, 312, Oktoberfest
Great Divide – Rumble IPA, Claymore Wee Heavy
Great Lakes Brewing Co.– Oktoberfest, Dortmunder Gold Lager
Gritty’s – Maine IPA, Black Fly Stout, Pub Ale
Harpoon – Octoberfest, Saison Various
Horny Goat Brewing – Hopped Up N Horny IPA
Ithaca Beer Company – Flower Power, Apricot Wheat, White Gold, Cascazilla
Keegan Ales – KD’s Triple, Longest Day IPA, Mother’s Milk Stout
Kuka Andean Brewing Company – Pumpkin Porter, Imperial Rye IPA, Belgian Triple, Belgian Golden Ale
LakeFront Brewing – Fixed Gear, Pumpkin Lager
Lancaster Brewing Company – Milk Stout, Strawberry Wheat
Latis – Estaminet, Palm, Steenbrugge Tripel
Left Hand Brewing Company
Magic Hat – Seance, Elder Betty
Moa – Imperial Stout, Breakfast Ale
Moonlight – Kurt’s Apple Pie, Sensual
Neshaminy Creek – Dunkel Weizen, Trauger Pils
Newcastle – Newcastle Brown and Werewolf
Old Dominion – Double D IPA, Oak Barrel Stout
Ommegang – Abbey, Scythe & Sickle
Oskar Blues – Dale’s Pale Ale, Old Chub
Otter Creek Brewing Company – Hopsession Pale Ale, Oktoberfest, Lager
Pyramid – Oktoberfest
Ramstein Beer – Oktoberfest, Double Platinum, Gold
River Horse – Hippo Lantern, Special Ale
Sam Adams – Boston Lager, Oktoberfest, Angry Orchard Crisp Apple
Sea Dog – Blueberry
Shed Brewery – IPA, Mountain Ale
Shiner – Oktoberfest, Black Lager
Shipyard Brewing Company – Smashed Pumpkin, Monkey Fist IPA
Sierra Nevada – Kellerweis, Flipside Red IPA
Sixpoint – Crisp Pils, Righteous Rye
Slumbrew – Flagraiser IPA, Happy Sol, Porter Square Porter, Trekker Trippel
Sly Fox – Rt 113 IPA, Pikeland Pils
Smuttynose – IPA, Pumpkin
Southampton Public House – Pumpkin Ale, Double White, IPA
Speakeasy – Tallulah Pale Ale, Prohibition Ale
St. Ambroise Brewery – Pumpkin Ale, Apricot Wheat Ale
Starr Hill Brewing Company – Boxcar Pumpkin Porter, Whiter Shade of Pale, Double Platinum, Smoke Out
Stone Brewing Co. – Ruination, Cali-belgique
Stoudts Brewery – Heifer in Wheat, Oktoberfest, Pilsner
Strongbow Cider
Summit – Extra Pale Ale, Oktoberfest, Porter, Pilsener
Tommyknocker Brewery – Small Batch Pumpkin Harvest Ale, Pick Axe IPA, Maple
Troegs – Perpetual IPA, Javahead Stout
Tuckahoe Brewing Co. – Dennis Creek Pale Ale, Steelmantown Porter
Unibroue – Chambly Noir, Blanche De Chambly, Trois Pistoles
Victory Brewing Company – Hop Wallop Double IPA, Headwaters Pale Ale, V12, Hop Devil
Weihenstephan – Kristal Weisse, Vitus, Oktoberfest
Weyerbacher – Double Simcoe IPA, Imperial Pumpkin
William’s Bros. – Fraoch Heather Ale, Kelpie Seaweed Ale, Midnight Sun
Wolaver’s Organic Brewery – IPA, Pumpkin, Oatmeal Stout
Wychwood Brewery – Hobgoblin Strong Dark Ale, Ginger Beard English Beer, Hobgoblin Strong Dark Ale, Ginger Beard English Beer
Yards – Pynk, Brawler
Tenth & Blake – Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin, Crispin Cider

After wandering around this beer maze for a few hours, if you were not smiling from ear to ear, something is wrong with you.  You are broken, and there is no amount of cow bell that will fix you.  Unless, perhaps it is not more cow bell that you need but some ridiculously good Cheese Curds from  The Cow and The Curd truck that happened to be parked in the venue.  Not a cheese fan, yet you still needed some sobering food to assist you in your journey, The Big Brew Beer Fest thought of that too, featuring food from The Office Beer Bar & Grill, 40 North, and Nicole’s Ten strategically located throughout the event.

Cheese Curds

How Could You Go Wrong With Fried Cheese

So let’s discuss what we have learned today shall we?  The Big Brew Beer Fest not only addressed but exceeded the concerns that were expressed after the first year of this event, which by the way I still loved.  Secondly, the beers that were offered at this event would make our founding fathers, whom by the way loved themselves some hooch, cry like a disgraced English man after the revolutionary war.  Furthermore, the food that was served at the Big Brew Beer Festival is the kind of food that is slightly more addictive than nicotine and three times tastier than anything your grandmother ever made, and that is a promise.  Finally and seriously most importantly is the fact that this astounding, intriguing, brilliant, and insert obligatory adjective here, event is coming back to the Morristown Armory on February 15, 2014, and if you are not in the house, you have no excuse!  See you there!

Pretzel Necklace

Never Underestimate the Power of a Pretzel Necklace!

Belly Up Roll

Bacon Fest 2013

If there was a town called Baconville, I would be the Mayor; if there was a Baconland, I would be the ambassador; and if there was a Bacon Church, I would be the fracking Pope O’Pork. What I am trying to say is that I like; no, love bacon, like the interwebs loves cats, the Kardashians love attention, and Jim Jones apparently loves Julius Caesar. It is this obsession for all things salty and cured that gave birth to my annual Bacon Fest Celebration, which Kat and I host for all of our friends who are swine inclined.

Jim Jones' Giant Julius Caesar Head!

Jim Jones’ Giant Julius Caesar Head!

Bacon Fest is one part food competition and two parts all out, bacon celebration. Each year we gather between 13 and 16 foodies who love to cook and ask them to let their imaginations run wild, the only rule is that the star of their dish must be Bacon! This once small gathering has been growing each and every year and this year. This year it became obvious that I could no longer host it at my house, so we decided to upgrade to a hall.

The Creed Of Bacon Fest

The Creed Of Bacon Fest

After calling around to several local halls for rent, we found that it was quite difficult to acquire a hall that would allow you to utilize their kitchen. That is until we stumbled upon the Ridgewood Elks Club, located at 111, North Maple Ave., in Ridgewood, NJ. The Ridgewood Elks club had everything our bacon soirée could possibly need, a large main room, tables, chairs, a deluxe industrial kitchen, and a very reasonable price tag. They also had a cash bar so our guests could wet their whistle in between courses, named the Jolly Cork.

Ridgewood Elks Club

The Ridgewood Elks Club

Once the hall was booked and the invites went out, my next challenge was to decide what I would concoct as my entry to this year’s contest. The competition for Bacon Fest has been increasing exponentially with each iteration. What began at first as a friendly rivalry has evolved into a passionate tournament that would make Tyler Durden proud.

I originally created an entry in my head that I was generally content with, but I knew I could do better. I racked my brain, spending damn-near every waking hour thinking about how I could improve my dish for what has become the Academy Awards of salty meat. That is until one fateful night when I got a little tipsy and passed out while visions of bacon fairies still danced in my head. I only slept for about an hour that night, because I was awoken from my restless slumber after tasting the most amazing baconey goodness that had ever crossed the threshold of my lips.

Counting Pigs Instead of Sheep!

Counting Pigs Instead of Sheep!

Still groggy and now all worked up on dream bacon, I grabbed my smart phone and began researching, like I had never researched before. My thumbs were moving a mile a minute, it was as if St. Anthony, the patron saint of bacon and the namesake of the Bacon Fest Cup, himself had possessed my fingers and they were doing his bidding. After an hour of zealous obsession, my bacon fantasy had come to fruition. I returned to my slumber counting pigs one by one that evening, knowing that I was well prepared for this year’s pork laden prizefight.

Me As The Bacon Pope!

Me As The Bacon Pope!

On the day of the event, each cook was issued a number designation and a time slot when they would present their dish to the judges. Each dish would be explained to the lucky people that were chosen at random and then judged based on Taste, Presentation, and Originality. As time ticked by the anticipation of the salty and savory war that was about to be waged on the culinary battlefield began to increase. Slowly but surely you could feel the tension in the kitchen as the cooks were doing their final preparations.

The following was the artery-clogging lineup that rocked Bacon Fest 2013, in the order that they were presented:

Sweet Potato And Bacon Lettuce Wrap

Sweet Potato And Bacon Lettuce Wrap with Yogurt Dill Sauce Presented by Stephanie Bates.

Sueyy-shi

Sueyy-shi: Loaded mashed potatoes wrapped in bacon, dressed with BBQ sauce, and bacon skillet spread. Presented by Dave Michaels and Allie Maurer.

Bacon Maple Popcorn

Bacon Maple Popcorn Presented by Jennifer Sellers

Apple-Bacon Empanada

Apple-Bacon Empanada with dried cherries, mascarpone, and Apple-Bacon Caramel Presented by Keith Shatsoff and Bryan Barnhart.

Bacon Cassoulet

Bacon Cassoulet: Medley of bacon, beans, and pancetta prepared in a traditional cassoulet in bacon cups. Presented by Tyler Hutchinson and Sara Toth

Bracon Bad:

Bracon Bad: Bacon Confit Brulee with Fring’s Blue. Presented by Tyler and Jessica Ochs.

The Heaven Hog

The Heaven Hog: Mozzarella, Spinach, and Bacon Pork Tenderloin. Presented by Timothy Hurwitz and Michael Pindilli.

Belly Up Roll

Belly Up Roll: Braised Pork Belly and Avocado Sushi Roll with a bacon maple chutney. Presented by Michael and Katherine Arp

Candy Bacon Chocolate Brownie

Candy Bacon Chocolate Brownie with Jameson Caramel Sauce topped with candy bacon. Presented by Kevin and Kimberly Feehan.

Dude Food Magic Bars

Dude Food Magic Bars: Dessert Bar with pretzels, potato chips, chocolate, peanut butter and Bacon Presented by Brian Massey and Kristen Dyak.

Bacon Mac and Cheese

Bacon Mac and Cheese with Spiced Bacon Twists presented by Chris Buro.

Pork Star Ice Cream Cake

Pork Star Ice Cream Cake Presented by Matthew Arp and Emily Holmgren.

Pancetta Meatballs

Pancetta Meatballs in Joan’s homemade sauce Presented by Joan Perreca.

Clearly even though this was a competition and there was a winner declared, the judges were the actual victors in this epicurean struggle because they got to eat the above mentioned food. Granted the cooks were also judges, so I guess we all won, but this ain’t some new age hippy dippie coed baseball league where there is no score kept, and everyone wins ribbons for participation. This is Bacon Wars!

The Cup of St. Anthony

The Cup of St. Anthony

The reason all the cooks wake up at 6:00 A.M. on the morning of Bacon Fest and shovel their own money into their dish, is to the have the honor of taking home the Cup of Saint Anthony! The Cup of St. Anthony is similar to Lord Stanley’s Cup, only it is better, because people actually care who wins this cup. (Hockey Burn!) Whoever takes first place in Bacon Fest is granted the righteous reward of placing their name on the cup and displaying it at their house for an entire year.

In this culinary death match that lasted 2 hours and featured more bacon than most regular folks eat in a year, only one dish reigned supreme. Alas, it was not my dish this year, although I did take third place, with the Pork Star Ice Cream Cake taking second, and all of the dishes bowed down to the Apple-Bacon Empanada which made most people let out a louder moan of satisfaction than they do in their own bedrooms.

Bacon Empanda Inside

The Winner Dissected!

While baconey goodness followed baconey goodness in this divine swine parade, our guests were placing money in the donation jars that were being passed around and tickets in the raffle prize baskets. All the proceeds of Bacon Fest 2013 were donated to Eleventh Hour Rescue, a local animal rescue agency, which saved our own dog from a kill shelter and delivered her to our hearts.

Tickets

Charity is fun!

All the raffle prizes were generously donated by some of the fantastic businesses that this Blue Collar Foodie frequents on a regular basis. I would like to take this time to give a shout out and some electronic love to these wonderful businesses that did not think twice to support this remarkable rescue agency through our event. These benevolent establishments and every single person that donated their hard earned money at our event have helped this rescue agency not only save the lives of animals but also connect them with their forever family.

Lilly Likes Bacon

Lilly Loves You For Supporting Eleventh Hour Rescue Almost As Much As She Loves Bacon!!!

These are not your standard, everyone be damned but me corporations; these are honest companies that are aware of their societal footprint and want to help their community. Please help me say thank you to these exceptional establishments by supporting them as they supported us.

Meatball Obsession: At Meatball Obsession®, it’s all about the meatball. That’s why we call it an obsession. We use the original, all-natural old-world Mancini family recipe and slow-cook it in pots. At Meatball Obsession we serve grandma’s beef, turkey and sausage meatballs in her Sunday Sauce. Our food is meant for people on the go so you can enjoy your meatballs in a cup with dipping bread or stuffed in a custom-made Italian pocket bread. We deliver too. – 1 Garden State Plaza, Paramus NJ 201-843-3888.

Twisted Elm: Twisted Elm is a gastropub in Northern NJ. We are a casual, pub-style restaurant with an award-winning chef in the kitchen and a fun, relaxed atmosphere at the bar. Our creative menu is prepared using the finest local and seasonal ingredients, and we proudly serve delicious, naturally-made wines. We have hand-tossed brick oven pizzas – even for our gluten-free guests! Bringing the craft beer scene to Bergen County, we offer a rotating selection of the finest American and imported brews. – 435 River Dr. Elmwood Park, NJ 07407 (201) 791-3705

Baconery: Two ingredients that make everything taste like heaven in your mouth. Apart, these ingredients represent a delicious cornucopia of different tastes, but together they create an explosive flavor that is seldom rivaled in the food world. Everyone has talked about it. People have dreamed about it. Most were afraid to put them together. It’s a secret, twisted fantasy that everyone hides their love for. And now it’s a reality. Available Online and at their Brick and Mortar location at 911 Columbus Avenue, New York, New York (104 & 105th)

J&D’s: We’re Justin and Dave, and this is our improbable bacon-flavored story. Who are we? We’re just two regular guys who love grilling and football on Sunday afternoons, eating until we can’t get off the couch and of course, the taste of great bacon. And it’s our dream to make everything taste like bacon. Whether you’re a regular griller or a gourmet chef, are counting calories or are a vegetarian who craves mouth-watering bacon taste without the bacon guilt, this is what you’ve been waiting for.

The Swiss Pork Store: It’s a throwback, a dinosaur, a trip to the old country. In the same location since 1950, time has moved forward only on the other side of the door. Even the customers will tell you how long they’ve been coming here to shop.

A local legend of the original owners is that one of the two men who opened the place in 1950 was German, the other was Swiss. They were concerned about anti-German sentiment just after WWII, so they named the shop the Swiss Pork Store, with a wink and a smile. 24-10 Fair Lawn Avenue, Fair Lawn, New Jersey 07410

Breaking Bad Bacon

For those of you who did get the Breaking Bad Reference.

Photo Credit and many thanks to Evan Bindelglass!

TC’s Little Taste of Saigon Teaches the Blue Collar Foodie a Valuable Life Lesson

Every day most of us drive down the same roads to and from our nine to fives, sipping coffee and listening to mind numbing talk radio, paying no attention to our surroundings. I try my damnedest to not fall into this monotonous trap by taking different routes at times to liven up my commute, but alas, after a certain number of years every path becomes mundane. This frequently welcomed autopilot mode, could cause the not so attentive urban foodie to miss out on some wonderful eateries that are often overlooked on the roads so frequently traveled.

I fell victim to this sad happenstance recently, and I feel that I should inform my readers that sometimes it is a good idea to act like man’s best friend and stick your head out the window from time to time. Perhaps even try not updating your 13 social media pages, while driving with your knee, and eating your fried green tomato, bacon, remoulade, and egg brioche sandwich while on the way to work. If I was not guilty of DWZ, Driving While Zombified, I would have noticed that there was an authentic Vietnamese Noodle House on my way to work. Furthermore, my foodie street cred would not have been worse off than Mike Myers’ career after The Love Guru, because I would not have had to be informed of this off the hook establishment by a Brooklyn Foodie. (Relax Brooklyn, I love you guys, but even you know that some of your comrades can be quite ostentatious and downright douchetastic!)

TC's Little Taste of Saigon

The restaurant that I am referring to is a quaint joint by the name of TC’s Little Taste of Saigon, located at 419 Goffle Rd. Ridgewood, NJ.   Don’t be distraught if you too drive past it each and every day without giving it a second thought, because this eatery is located within a house in a mostly residential neighborhood. I almost drove right past it, and I knew what I was looking for.

TC's Little Taste of Saigon Inside

When you enter TC’s you get the feeling that you are walking into a friend’s family member’s house for dinner, not a restaurant. Some people may be put off by this, but I was all sorts of excited. Visions of truly authentic Vietnamese food danced in my head, the type of food that one used to be able to get in the city before the hipsters took over and created fusion.   As we, Kat, Rory, and I entered this magical worm hole that dropped us off somewhere in the P.H., Pre-Hipster, era of the foodie scene, we were greeted by one of the proprietors and seated in the living room, errrrrr, dining room.

Once seated, we were offered our surprisingly hefty menus and empty glasses for our bottles of beer that we brought from home. With our glasses now full of high-end craft beer, our attention was focused on the task of choosing our food for the evening.

As stated above, the menu was much larger than one would expect from such an intimate restaurant, so the charge of picking our meals was one that was not as easy as we first suspected.   After doing some table side research on the googles, I found that all my fellow foodies were raving about the Rice Paper Spring Rolls, so we decided to give them a whirl for our appetizer. We each also ordered a Pho dish, a Vietnamese noodle soup consisting of broth, linguine-shaped rice noodles, a few herbs, and the protein of our liking. Since TC’s smelled more enticing than patchouli to a hippy, we added the Spicy Beef Stew to our smorgasbord of goodies.

Rice Paper Spring Rolls

A little more table side smart phone exploring yielded some very interesting information about TC’s. Apparently, this restaurant is run by two sisters that perform the job of waitress, hostess, chef, and general manager. This intel further added to the thought that we were dining at someone’s house, and the anticipation to try these assiduous siblings’ fare was perpetually building with every minute of small talk.

Just then our Rice Paper Spring Rolls arrived at our table. Without hesitation each of us removed a roll from the plate, dipped it in the house sauce, and took our first bite. Each of us chewed that bite for quite some time and said nothing to each other until we swallowed. The first words that came out of each of our mouths were the best compliments that any Jersey Foodie could possibly give, although I don’t remember the quotes exactly, I assure you that those phrases could not be uttered on network television. These spring rolls were the perfect combination of crisp and fresh, and when combined with the homemade sauce that was served with it, created a depth of flavor that sent my taste buds into traction.

TC's Pho

After we completed these tasty rolls of savory goodness, our main courses arrived, and they looked and smelled remarkable. The portion size was much larger than we anticipated, and all three of us began to ponder if we had ordered with our eyes instead of our stomachs, but the prices were so reasonable. The Pho even came with a side dish of fresh herbs and bean sprouts that was a great addition to these already beautifully presented meals. By fresh herbs, I mean literally garden fresh herbs that grow just outside the kitchen in flower pots that line the parking lot.

TC's Garden

Using the chop sticks that were provided, I scooped out a generous portion of my Seafood Pho and allowed it to cool down to an edible temperature. I then took my first bite of this Pho and fell in love all over again. The broth was delicate, yet flavorful, and had just the right amount of kick to compliment the noodles and fresh seafood. I am usually the type of person that will put sauce on just about anything that I am served, but this dish needed nothing, it was utterly perfect, and each bite only echoed that thought.

TCs Spicy Beef Stew

After forcing myself to stop eating the astounding Pho that TC’s had prepared for me, I took my first bite of the Spicy Beef Stew that we ordered to share. When we ordered it, we were warned that spicy actually means spicy at TC’s but decided to forgo this forewarning and embrace the zesty cultural food that is synonymous with Saigon.   We, being spice freaks, were not disappointed, however if you are not a spicy food connoisseur, I would suggest always heeding these types of warnings when eating at ethnic food spots.   Besides the invigorating heat that this dish provided, it had other subtle flavors that made their way through as well.

As our food consumption slowed down, we were struck with the sad realization that our adventure at TC’s was almost at its end. Even though we were completely satiated, we found ourselves continuing to eat our food, we even at one point made mention to how gluttonous we were being but then just kept on going. After all the bowls were clean, our waitress/souse chef/hostess came to our table and simply stated that we can stay as long as we would like because they enjoy the company.

Some people think that I am overly obsessed with food, but it is life lessons like this one that make my epicurean adventures worth it. TC’s Taste of Saigon is one of those truly extraordinary restaurants that unfortunately could blend into the background of your ordinary journey if you are not careful. Do yourself and all of your friends a favor and head out to TC’s, just let me know when you are going because their parking lot is kind of small.

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A Foodie Approved Date Night!

Every once in a while this Blue Collar Foodie decides to attempt to impress his Blue Collar Wifey with a date night de jour. For most people this entails a dinner and night out on the town, but for Kat and I, who run around like Usain Bolt on amphetamines every day, this involves eating at a new restaurant and pulling up some couch with our mammals. No that is not a euphemism, I literally mean sitting on the couch with my lovely wife and our furry children and watching whatever programs are scattered across our DVR. I know this sounds dull and perhaps even slightly unromantic, but I assure you that if you looked at the anarchy that is our calendar, which resembles a Jackson Pollock painting most of the time, you would agree that a relaxing evening would be utter bliss.

As a food writer I tend to turn towards the internets quite often to locate local restaurants that I should be eating at, and I suggest you do the same. As I was planning our date night, I came across a restaurant called Pearl Restaurant,which is located at 17 South Broad Street in Ridgewood, NJ. After reading some of the reviews that were scattered across the great plains of the interwebs, I made the executive decision to have our date night at Pearl Restaurant.

Pearl Restaurant Since Pearl is designed to be an intimate setting that is perfect for the couple experience, I recommend making a reservation before your arrival. Not only will you be guaranteed a table, but it will appear classier to your partner who you are trying to charm. When making said reservation keep in mind that Pearl Restaurant offers indoor and outdoor seating, and if you are a people watcher like me, the streets of Ridgewood are absolutely perfect for this voyeuristic hobby. Since we had a reservation, even on a busy Friday night, Kat and I were seated within minutes of our arrival in the dining area.

The interior of Pearl is simply enchanting and should make any female foodie swoon, making you look like a prodigious partner. The muted lighting is soft and pleasing as is the modern yet subtle music that is played throughout the restaurant. Furthermore the addition of a small candle on every table adds to the already romantic composition of this eatery.

Within seconds of our rumps resting in the seats, we were cordially received by our waiter who furnished us with the menu of today’s fare. One of the reasons that Pearl Restaurant was extremely appealing to me was the fact that their menu changes daily, based on the availability of the highest quality meats and fish that were found at the market earlier that morning.   Additionally, Pearl does not have a freezer or a microwave on the premises, so everything that you will be served at this epicurean honey hole is fresh and cooked to order.

By the way to add to the appeal of Pearl, it is a BYOB establishment which always makes this frugal foodie happier than TMZ when a rapper gets arrested. With our bottle of white uncorked, poured, and placed in a bucket by the once again extremely helpful wait staff, we turned our focus on tackling the serious menu that was placed in front of us. With the precision of a Bill Belichick defense, get used to a myriad of football references in the coming months I am not only a foodie but a hardcore sports fan, we sorted through the menu and found what we considered to be the perfect dishes to embody the philosophy of Pearl.

I decided on the Goffle Farm Raised Crispy Pearl Duckling that was served with an Orange- Lavender Honey Gastrique, with a side of Seasonal Vegetables and Starch Du Jour. My delightful dining companion went with the Goffle Farm Raised Hen that was also paired with Seasonal Vegetables and Starch Du Jour.   Considering that we are both trying to remain someone healthy while still participating in as many gastronomic adventures as our wallets will allow, we also ordered a Pearl House Salad to accompany our enticing entrees.

Pearl BreadKat and I sipped our wine and caught up on each other’s recent undertakings, accomplishments, and tribulations while enjoying the ambiance of Pearl. While pontificating and politicking fresh warm bread was brought to our table that was joined by a bowl of high end olive oil and a mysterious orange paste. Since both Kat and I are intrigued by new and uncommon foods, we of course immediately halted our conversation and almost in unison, with the grace of an Olympic synchronized swimming team, broke a piece off of the bread and dipped it directly into this cream of curiosity. Our lack of food related anxiety paid off, as this hummus like concoction made our taste buds sing louder than this demonic six year old on America’s got talent. The texture was somewhat velvety and the flavor was not overpowering which made it the perfect accomplice for the flakey warm bread that was served. We later asked our waiter what this magical mixture was and we were informed that it is basically a white bean hummus.

Pearl Restaurant Salad After annihilating the bread and most of the dip, our house salads arrived. I was tremendously impressed with not only the size of this salver of greens but also the quality of the produce. Normally when you order a house salad at an elegant restaurant it is smaller than Kate Hudson’s waistband and overdressed more than Elton John circa 1977. This just was not the case when it came to Pearl’s salad. The light vinaigrette allowed the fresh and crisp garden greens to show off their delightful flavor creating a perfect introduction to the amazing meal that we were about to partake in.

Pearl Chicken With our appetites properly teased, we were appropriately prepared for our main dishes. Without delay, they were delivered to our table and both dishes were visually stunning. It was obvious that whoever plated these meals was painstakingly attentive to every iota of eatable that graced our plates. On top of the fact that the food in front of us looked as if it should grace the cover of Bon Appetit magazine, the aroma that was wafting off our plates was damn near intoxicating. I almost had to go fifty shades of grey all up on Kat in order to restrain her from attacking her meal like a honey badger attacks a snake before I could get the sufficient amount of pictures.

Pearl Chicken 2With the photographs taken, it was time to taste the artwork that was sitting in front of me. I slowly cut into my duck with the meticulousness of a surgeon and lifted the first bite of my duck towards my mouth. The instant this savory, crispy, citrusy, deliciousness I fully understood why Elmer Fudd relentlessly hunted Daffy. The skin of the duck was expertly cooked to a crunchy perfection while the flesh of the duck was moist yet surprisingly not greasy at all. To add to the overall excellence of this dish, the orange lavender gastrique brought this flawlessly prepared poultry to a whole other level of divinity. I have had quite a bit of duck in my day, being that it is my favorite fowl dish, and this was by far the best I have eaten in my foodie career. I had to force myself to stop eating the duck and at least try the vegetables and mashed potato that accompanied my delightful duck, and I was happy I did. The green beans were exquisitely cooked with just the right texture and the potatoes were bursting with flavor.

Perfect Bite of DuckKat being the wonderful wife that she is, cut a piece of her hen dipped it into the sauce that accompanied it, and fed me the forkful. I am never prepared for the difference between store bought poultry and farm bought poultry, and this was no exception. As I masticated, it means chewing people get your mind out of the gutter, on this heavenly chicken, I pondered why any restaurant would purchase frozen food when locally sourced farm raised fare is available literally one town over. I then realized that the answer is simple, some people just don’t have the same passion for food as the proprietor of restaurants like Pearl.

Pearl Chocolate MousseOne of the notations about Pearl that I read on the internet was that most of their desserts are prepared table side. I always enjoy a little showmanship when out to eat, so Kat and I decided to throw caution to the wind, break our diets and order something sweet to finish off our already pleasant night. After careful consideration, because dessert ordering is not to be taken lightly, we decided on the Chocolate Mousse with a Peanut Butter and Graham Cracker Crumble, topped with a raspberry marshmallow fluff that was toasted table side with a torch. Yes it was as good as it sounds, in fact, I would venture to say that it was better than it sounds! This is the type of dessert that could cause you to fall off the diet wagon and descend deep into the self-loathing hate spiral that is diet failure, but it was well worth the risk.

The Pearl Restaurant was as advertised, a restaurant that is unique as a Pearl. Their quixotic ambiance, exceptionally helpful and gracious wait staff, and their remarkable food make this establishment one of Bergen Counties must try eateries. I strongly suggest that the next time you are trying to dazzle your significant other, you allow Pearl in Ridgewood to assist you in making your night a memorable and scrumptious evening.

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One Visit To Empanada Mania Will Make You An Empanada Maniac!

Living as a foodie is very similar to walking through life as a perpetually pregnant lady, we are always hungry, we constantly have cravings for strange food at all hours of the night, and unless our desires are met we are not fun to be around. Living as a foodie’s significant other is in turn comparable to being the partner of an expecting mother when these oddly specific and damn near impossible requests come out of left field. So, this past weekend when Kat did not get any empanadas at a certain Food Truck Mash-Up, I sensed the storm approaching and devised a proactive plan to conquer the impending category 5 foodie tornado that was about to rain fire and brimstone upon my house.

My strategy was simple and sound. I figured the googles knows everything, except for what the hell Korri Sabatini’s freaking infuriating forehead tattoo means, so I consulted my favorite online resource to find Bergen County’s best Empanada’s.   Upon researching this topic I found that most people whom answered this question on Yahoo answers or other forums designed to help wandering internet souls such as myself, enjoyed rubbing in the fact that the best place to get Empanadas in Bergen County was at their grandmother’s house.   Well smart asses, my Abuela does not specialize in Empanada’s she specializes in Matzo Ball Soup, so your answer does me no damn good and deserves the thumbs down rating I gave it. After I sorted through all the responses that were trying to make me visit their elderly family members in order to satisfy Kat’s craving for a fried stuffed pocket of awesome, I stumbled upon Empanada Mania, located at 62 S Washington Avenue,   Bergenfield, New Jersey, 07621.

Empanda Mania

The interwebs informed me that Empanada Mania was voted Best New Restaurant in 2013 by 201 Magazine and almost every review that I read stated that they were serving the best Empanadas in the county as well. Trusting my fellow Bergenites and internet gastronauts, I informed Kat that her craving would be quenched thanks to Empanada Mania. Since I was in disaster mode, I was unable to sense that I too, caught the empanada bug when we were turned away from the food truck with empty stomachs, and I soon realized that if the Empanadas at Empanada Mania did not meet or exceed our expectations, the ride home would be akin to traveling with two pregnant women, ready to pop, on a 100 degree day, with no air conditioning. Needless to say no one wants that at all.

When we arrived at Empanada Mania we were greeted as soon as we walked in the door with a smile and a genuine welcome from the owner’s father. This family orientated business approach honestly makes my soul smile, and it helped even more that this gentleman was kind, helpful, and made us chuckle on numerous occasions while we were at this establishment.   This kind of service and mindset is what is missing from all the chain restaurants that are unfortunately pushing the mom and pop shops out with every flavorless catchy named appetizer that is sold.

Empanada Mania Menu

Empanada Mania has a rotating menu of at least six empanadas a day, which in turn creates a daily menu that is ever changing. On the day that we decided to give Emapanda Mania a whirl, they were offering the following varieties Beef, Buffalo Chicken, Pizza, Chicken Quesadilla, Spinach and Feta, Two Cheese, and Cheese Burger.  Kat and I were trying to be conservative, and since we were only eating lunch, we ordered five of the seven that were on the menu. We decided to order a beef for the traditionalist is us, a buffalo chicken to kick it up a notch, a Pizza because if not Kat’s father would disown her, a Chicken Quesadilla because I am a cheeseaholic, and a Spinach and Feta in a vain attempt to healthy.

After ordering, we once again began to speak with the front house manager of Empanada Mania and soon enough the proprietor of the shop, Mr. Galo Grijalva, came out to greet us. He introduced himself, and we spoke for a few minutes about the business and his future plans to climb aboard the food truck band wagon and use his mobile munchie maker as a promotion device and a as a way to give back to the County. After mere minutes of speaking to him, I could tell right away that this man was truly passionate about not only his Empanadas but his business as well, which only got me more excited about the food that I was about to chew on.

Empanda Mania Platter

When the food arrived at our table, Kat and I were so elated that our Empanada feast was about to begin that we could barely contain ourselves, none the less wait for these fresh fried morsels to cool down, but alas we are smarter than your average Hot Pocket eater.   I took the first deep fried purse of holding out of the basket and divided it into two pieces thus allowing the heat to escape quicker and permitting us to see what type of empanada we were about to ingest.

Spinach Empanada

Our first victim was the Spinach and Feta Empanada, and as I was cutting it, I already knew that it was going to be remarkable. The crust was the perfect consistency as I could feel the flawless crunch and flakiness under my knife as I pressed down firmly. After I broke through the outer layer, my plastic cutlery flew through the moist savory filling faster than A-Rod can deny any and all allegations of wrong doing.   Our first bite instantly converted us to Empanada Maniacs, and there was no turning back. The Spinach was seasoned expertly and the ratio of feta to greens was spot on.

Buffalo Chicken Empanada

Next up was the Buffalo Chicken Empanada. As soon as I saw this inventive and whimsical item on the menu, I knew I had to try it. I was very pleased that it was among the empanadas that we chose to sample.   The expressive flavor of the filling combined excellently with the crunchy texture of the shell to create a wonderful marriage in my mouth.

Pizza Empanada

The Pizza filled empanada was next on the chopping block, and we were not disappointed yet again. The quality of the cheese as well as the quantity was not unnoticed by this foodie.   The addition of just the right amount of marinara sauce only added to the charm of this vegetarian friendly empanada.

Chicken Empanada

The Chicken Quesadilla empanada fell just as its brethren did; one fantastic bite at a time. As Kat and I finished off this fanciful fowl, we were saddened that we only had one more of these miraculous pleasure stuffed indulgences left to consume.

Forkin' Empanada

Fortunately Kat and I saved what was in our opinion the best for last, the straight up, traditional Beef Empanada. I was surprised that I, an aficionado of all things strange and odd in the culinary world, would find myself choosing the seemingly “boring” beef empanada as the winner of our little taste test, but this deep fried mighty meat package was anything but boring. The seasoning was impeccable and created a fresh and crisp palatableness that was simply insurmountable.

As we looked down at our empty basket, the realization sank in that we were all out of these amazing delicacies, but then a smile come over my face. This Joker-esque smirk was followed by me returning to the counter and ordering two more Empanadas before even discussing it with Kat. We ordered one more beef, because it was that kind of good, and I also ordered a Cheese Burger. The Beef was saved for last because we were well aware of its foodgasmic powers. As we ate the Cheese Burger Empanada, I began to comprehend that it was not just one of their Empanadas that are noteworthy, but it is all of them. Every last empanada that we ate on our first of many outings to this eatery was simply divine. They all have their merits, and I could literally eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next month and still come back for more.

Empanada Mania Sauce

Empanada Mania also offers a homemade hot sauce to pair with their tasty treats. The house manager informed us that he came up with the recipe for this phenomenal sauce while he was still in his mother’s belly, and I believe it.   This prodigious sauce was the ideal companion to the already sublime taste of these Empanadas. As Kat and I ate each of them, we tried them without sauce first, which caused us to swoon, but after adding some of the sauce we fell in love. Since this sauce is homemade it may be somewhat spicy for the average consumer, so it is recommended that you taste the sauce first before slathering it on.

Empanada Mania Closeup

If reading this article about the outstanding things Empanada Mania is doing with fried dough does not make you wish that you could beam down to Bergenfield immediately and try their culinary delights, than maybe this will. Galo, The Empanada Master, recently added a new addition to his cooking staff, Ms. Emma Scher from Ridgewood, N.J., who recently competed on the Teen episode of the Food Network Show, Chopped. Mr. Grijalva has agreed to show Ms. Scher the business end of working in a restaurant, in order to give back to the community that has helped him realize his dream. During our visit to Empanada Mania, we had the pleasure to meet Emma, and after our short conversation, Kat and I could see she is destined for greatness in the epicurean world.

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The Q-Crew BBQ Catering Company Rocks Out With Thier Hog Out!

So, you want to throw a backyard Barbecue that will make one of Andrew Jackson’s epic White House parties seem like a lame Jack and Jill shower, but even though Yan Can Cook, You Can Not.  You may think that you have no options and sheepishly accept your fate as merely a party attendee and not the host with the most, but you would be wrong.  Perhaps you can cook with the best of them, but you are lazier than a freshman in college after partaking in your first all night weed and fast food festival. Not that I condone that sort of thing, I mean fast food is horrible for you.  Maybe you are not lazy or gastronomically challenged but just want to be able to enjoy the legendary soirée that you are planning without having to man, or woman, the grill all night while your friends enjoy the giant bouncy castle and life size wrestling Ring full of Jell-o shots that you rented for this event.  If you fall into any of the aforementioned categories you need to request the Q-Crew to come to your next event!

Andrew Jackson sure did love to party!

Andrew Jackson sure did love to party!

Recently, I had the honor of officiating the wedding of two of my friends, one whom happens to be a fellow blogger. (Check out his humorous child rearing blog by clicking here.)   You read that right, I not only have a 9-5 job and write about some of the best Blue Collar Food I can find, but I also happen to be an ordained Reverend!  I thoroughly enjoy performing marriage ceremonies, and I have a blast at every wedding that I get the chance to preside over, although, this wedding had something that made this member of the cloth salivate like never before.  Instead of a pretentious indoor, five course meal, offering the same menu that has been served at receptions for 35 years, this couple made the executive decision to call in the Q-Crew to cater their special day.

Whole Pig Roast

Here Piggy Piggy Piggy

The Q-Crew is not your stereotypical catering company.  Instead of chasing stuffy white gloved waiters throughout a banquet hall, creating a live action Pac-Man like game that ends in you eating three shrimp and one pizza bite that you had to wrestle from your Great Aunt Bertha, you get to watch the Q-Crew in action as you mingle with the other guests during the cocktail hour.  Q-Crew does offer many different packages for any event that you could imagine, but by far their most impressive is the roasted whole pig complete with Pre-dinner photo ops.

Grilling

The Q-Crew hard at work!

This particular event not only featured the whole roasted pig, but the privileged guests of this amazingly meaty shindig got a one way ticket to flavor country courtesy of the Bride and Groom, via the Q-Crew express.  The menu for this grand affair consisted of St. Louis Style Ribs, Pulled Pork, Barbecue Chicken, Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Grilled Vegetables, and a plethora of fixings that paired perfectly with this meatgasmic offering.  Although the Bride was beautiful, the Q-Crew spread gave her a run for her money as the most stunning attendant of this fine affair, but since she was the one who brought this eating orgy to my world, I will say she beat the pig by a snout.

So much meat! TWSS

So much meat! TWSS

Once the food was ready, I was like Alex Rodriguez in a Performance Enhancing Drug store; I did not know which wonderful concoction to try first.  Since there was only limited plate space and I am a carnivore at heart, I decided to fill my first plate to capacity with the tantalization flesh of my most favorite farm animal, the pig!  As I was scooping the hearty portions of this fantastic meat onto my plate, the wafting aroma overwhelmed me with so much joy and happiness; I could barely make it back to my table before shoveling copious amounts of this picturesque BBQ into my drooling mouth.  Before I damn near ran to my table, I hit up the sauce bar to dress my swine properly before eating the hell out of this masterpiece that I created.  Not knowing which sauce was going to be the best on the pork I added a small amount of each type strategically so they did not comingle and contaminate each other.

Plate of Pig

Meat my plate of pig! See what I did there?

My first plateful consisted of two ribs, a generous helping of the roast pig, some pulled pork, a piece of corn bread, and a few pickles.  Considering I had been peering at Wilbur throughout the afternoon much like a 12 year old boy studies the first playboy he finds hidden in his father’s garage, I decided that it was the most logical starting point for my adventure down BBQ lane.  As I took my first bite, all I could think is if I were Zach Braff in Scrubs, my favorite pork memories would be playing in my head in slow motion with a horrible 80’s ballad added in for good measure.  Alas, I am not Zach Braff, although I think Kat would not be opposed to it.

Divine Swine

Divine Swine

Even though there was no divine swine montage, the pig was uber tasty.  It was moist, yet firm, with the proper bite that should be associated with good, wait check that, great barbecue.  The smoke flavor was not overbearing but still created that slight wood cooked twang that barbecue aficionados search near and far for.  I also loved the fact that the meat was not over seasoned or over sauced. The Q-Crew allowed the meat to speak for itself and not only did it talk but it sang!

Ribs of plenty

Ribs of plenty

After demolishing the pile of roast pig I had liberated from the buffet table, I moved onto the ribs.  When most people discuss ribs they rave about the meat falling off the bone but not I and much to my euphoric joy not the Q-Crew either.  In my opinion, ribs should have a slight firmness that requires a small amount of effort to remove the succulent meat from the bone, which perpetuates the primal sensation one gets when eating a bone-in cut of meat. The Q-Crew’s rib was not only expertly prepared in this fashion, but it also had a flawless smoke ring that added to its esthetic appeal.   As for the taste, the sweet smoke flavor paired perfectly with the tanginess of the barbecue sauce and spices creating a cacophony of flavor that made me want to create a Facebook page for these ribs simply so I could become friends with this rib for real because we all know you ain’t really friends with someone until you are friends on Facebook!

Pulled Pork

Pork that is pulled makes me happy!

The pulled pork, which had been waiting patiently as I fell in love with the pig and then cheated on her with the angelic ribs, was finally ready to be devoured.  I created a sandwich with the pulled pork and topped it with a liberal slathering of BBQ sauce, because that is how I roll.  See what I did there, sandwich, roll, get it, get it… Oh to hell with you, that was funny.  Once again this pulled pork was not drowned in sauce but instead the Q-Crew let the natural flavors of the porky goodness be the star of the show.  Don’t get me wrong, this pulled pork had some righteous flavor, but the predominant taste was good ol’ fashion pig and that is just how pulled pork should be.

Hamburgers

Just in case you’re a traditionalist.

I would be remiss as a card carrying member of the foodie community if I did not try everything the Q-Crew had to offer, so as I explained to Kat, it was my civic duty to say to hell with our diet and rock some seconds. On this trip up to the buffet line, I had to try some of the Q-Crew’s chicken because I had yet to sink my teeth into that BBQ favorite, but I simply could not pass up the opportunity to grab some more pig, pulled pork, and ribs.  Once again, there just was not any room for sides or the hamburgers and hotdogs, but I was told by other guests that they were mighty good.

Corn Bread

Mmmmmmm Corn Bread!

As for the chicken, at this point if you expected anything lower than stellar marks for anything that graced the Q-Crew’s grill, you have not been paying attention to this review very closely.  The flavor profile on the chicken was simple yet palatable, and it was cooked impeccably.  Chicken can be tougher than Howard Wolowitz’s Mother’s brisket, to cook properly on an open flame in large quantities, but the Q-Crew’s professional staff made it look about as easy as finding a celebrity who has a drug problem.

If you are looking to be the envy of the entire Social Media community that was not invited to your next backyard bash, you need to contact The Q-Crew BBQ Catering Company at 908-256-1198.  I warn you though, whoever can’t make it to the event due to a prior engagement will have to be put on suicide watch after they read all your friends’ status updates.  Furthermore, if I was you, I would warn my neighbors that the Q-Crew will be cooking at your function so they don’t think that you rented your house to a purveyor of cinematic filth when they hear the sounds of pure ecstasy escaping from your guests’ mouths after they take their first bite of the serious barbecue that the Q-Crew will deliver.  The Q-Crew slogan pretty much sums up the awesomeness of hiring these BBQ connoisseurs to bring their epicurean treats to your next jamboree and that is, “You Chill…We Grill.”

Grilled Veggies

BTW, Their Grilled Veggies were pretty good too!