A While back I was playing beer pong at a family barbecue, and a well-seasoned relative walked up to the table. He stared intently as the game progressed, and we could almost see the gears working in his head. Finally, I asked if he wanted to play the next game. To this our kin simply replied, I don’t think so. I then asked him why not. To that he said what will go down in the annals of our family as the single best response/rant that has ever been uttered by anyone that has ever climbed our family tree.
He once again gazed at the table and then glared back at us while he slowly stroked his gray and sparse beard. You see, he said, I have studied this game for quite some time, and I believe it to be not only dumb but a gigantic waste of time. We began to protest, but he merely lifted his finger, as if to say, let me finish, and we all allowed him to go on.
If I got the rules right, he continued, the team with the ball is trying to throw the ball into the other team’s cups. If the team on offense makes said ball into said cup then the other team drinks. So essentially, your idea of a drinking game, is not to drink, he asked with a smile on his face?
Once again we tried to answer this obvious rhetorical question, but the finger interrupted on more time. Let me show you booze toddlers the only drinking game I have ever played. It is far better this one of the countless others I have watched you play over the years…
Then he paused for a moment. He knew he had us on the hook. We all thought we were about to learn an ancient long lost drinking game that we could post to Reddit and gain thousands of Karma Points. The anticipation was killing us.
The silence was broken by our kinsman lifting his beer slowly to his mouth and taking a large sip from the cup. He lowered the beer from his mouth as slow as he raised it and began to speak. “I Win!” he said.
We all tilted our heads like a puppy who just heard a word that his owner had never uttered before. He slowly lifted the cup back to his mouth and took another long sip, and said, “I win again.” We all groaned, the others that started listening halfway through chuckled, and our dear old relative walked away while taking one last sip proclaiming under his breath and almost to himself, that he won again before releasing a slow soft snicker.
The moral of this story is that most Americans, at least the ones that were born in the 70’s or later need a reason to drink. Apparently, science has decided that drinking on a random Tuesday is called alcoholism, but drinking on a Tuesday because it’s St. Patrick’s Day is normal social behavior.
With that said, I have devised the perfect plan to not feel like a pariah for drinking on any day I damn well please. May I present to you, The Blue Collar Foodies’ 365 reasons to get CRUNK! Pick a day, any day, find it below, and celebrate whatever silly ass holiday is listed. Now drunken holidays are not only for the Irish and The Mexicans, but for the Americans as well! ‘Merica!
Bad Hangover Day
Excuse to drink: To hell with science, hair of the dog just makes sense!
Happy Mew Year for Cats Day
Excuse to drink: Cats can’t, that’s why!
Women Rock! Day
Excuse to drink: If you are a woman, raise a glass to yourself and If you are a man, take a shot in honor of a woman that rocked your world!
Isaac Newton’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: I fucking love Science and so should you!
Bozo the Clown’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: Clowns are freaking scary, drink to forget their creepiness!
National Smith Day
Excuse to drink: Drink a Samuel Smiths today! You are also traditionally supposed to hug anyone named Smith.
Fruitcake Toss Day
Excuse to drink: Lawn sports and drinking go so very well together!
Elvis Presley’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: Celebrate Fat Elvis by drinking your carbs one pint at a time. I suggest drinking Sweet Baby Jesus, a chocolate peanut butter porter.
Word Nerd Day
Excuse to drink: Scrabble and Scotch make you feel like a freaking aristocrat until you start spelling nothing but obscenities and sexual positions.
Peculiar People Day
Excuse to drink: People are strange but drunk people are so much fun!
International Thank You Day
Excuse to drink: There is no better way to say thank you than giving the gift of booze.
National Pharmacist Day
Excuse to drink: Self Medication!
Blame Somebody Else Day
Excuse to drink: Nothing encourages unprompted finger pointing like tying one on.
National Dress Up Your Pet Day
Excuse to drink: Question: What is better than a pet in a costume? Answer: A pet in a costume while you are drunk!
Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday
Excuse to drink: Everyone should pour a little out for this dude.
National Nothing Day
Excuse to drink: Ain’t nothing better than Drinking and doing nothing!
Ben Franklin’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: Ben loved himself some beer, and you should too.
Excuse to drink: If Christopher Robin can trip, you should be able to at least drink some booze.
New Friends Day
Excuse to drink: They don’t call it Social Lubricant for nothing.
Excuse to drink: Cheese goes with Wine, Beer, and Hooch like NPH and awesome.
National Hugging Day
Excuse to drink: Drunk hugs are better than sober ones, and sometimes lead to naked hugging!
Answer Your Cat’s Question Day
Excuse to drink: Your cat is obviously asking, “why aren’t you drinking?”
Excuse to drink: Nothing says I love you like sloppy drunk sex.
“Just Do It” Day
Excuse to drink: The name of the damn day says so!
Fun At Work Day
Excuse to drink: The only way to have fun at work is to drink a few special lattes in the morning.
Excuse to drink: Aussie’s know how to drink and you need the practice!
Mad Tea Party Day
Excuse to drink: Celebrate Lewis Carroll by getting as drunk as the door mouse.
Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
Excuse to drink: Apparently you have never played with bubble wrap while drunk?
Free Thinkers Day
Excuse to drink: Alcohol and free thinking are better friends than Hugh Hefner and Pfizer.
National Croissant Day
Excuse to drink: Mimosas anyone!
Jackie Robinson’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: Baseball!
National Freedom Day
Excuse to drink: Celebrate your freedom one drink at a time
Excuse to drink: If there are six more weeks of winter drink your sorrows away, if spring is coming it is a celebration bitches!
Halfway Point of Winter
Excuse to drink: Doesn’t matter what Punxsutawney Phil said yesterday, winter is officially half over!
Rosa Park’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: Rosa Park was a bad ass bitch and she should be celebrated!
Peter Pan Day
Excuse to drink: I will never grow up and neither should you!
Pay a Compliment Day
Excuse to drink: Compliments flow better when booze is being poured liberally.
Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
Excuse to drink: Lose the zero, and start drinking with a hero!
Mike Day internationally recognized focal point of month-long celebration Mikefest
Excuse to drink: Considering it seems like 75% of the world is named Mike, I am sure you can find one to drink in honor of. Hint: My name is Mike!
National Bagels and Lox Day
Excuse to drink: Best Brunch Food Ever!
World Marriage Day:
Excuse to drink: Whether it is your own or somebody else’s, raise your glass in honor of the love and commitment that makes marriage work.
Excuse to drink: Lower your inhibitions and make a promise to yourself that you force yourself to keep.
Excuse to drink: Beer and spirits are proof of evolution, drink to Darwin!
Get a Different Name Day
Excuse to drink: Sounds like a fun drinking name.
Excuse to drink: Celebrate being loved, or drink your sorrow away.
Susan B. Anthony’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: Chicks can vote because of this brolick bitch, take a shot for her, hell take two.
Do a Grouch a Favor Day
Excuse to drink: Go to your local bar and by the grumpiest curmudgeon you can find a shot.
Cantankerous people need booze too.
Random Acts of Kindness Day
Excuse to drink: Buy a round for your friends and tip well.
Pluto Discovered (1930)
Excuse to drink: Drink one for our fallen planet homie.
International Friendship Day
Excuse to drink: Here is to friends, without them we would never know when we are acting like a douche.
Love Your Pet Day
Excuse to drink: Raise your glass to unconditional love and constant affection.
Excuse to drink: You have dirt on your head and everyone is staring at you.
George Washington’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: G Dub did not open a can of whoop ass all over the British so you could lollygag around and be useless. He did it so he could grow hemp and drink whenever the hell he pleased. Since the federal government still disagrees with the hemp part, drink up, because it is was our founding fathers would have wanted.
National Rationalization Day
Excuse to drink: Be honest, you are reading a blog to find an excuse to drink. Let’s use today to come to terms that you are a functioning alcoholic and move on. DRINK!
National Tortilla Chip Day
Excuse to drink: These Tortillas are making me THIRSTY!
Excuse to drink: Drinking is quieter than chewing.
Tell a Fairy Tale Day
Excuse to drink: Drunk stories are always better than sober stories.
No Brainer Day
Excuse to drink: DRINK!
International Pancake Day
Excuse to drink: I smell Brunch!
Excuse to drink: You only get an extra day to drink once every four years!
National Pig Day
Excuse to drink: Always follow the pig!
Old Stuff Day
Excuse to drink: Time to break out the good stuff, nothing aged under 18 years today.
What if Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs? Day
Excuse to drink: They would crack open a beer and so should you!
Hug a GI Day
Excuse to drink: While you are at it, buy them a shot too.
Mother – in – Law Day
Excuse to drink: With her or because of her, bottoms up!
Excuse to drink: REMEMBER THE ALAMO!
National Be Heard Day
Excuse to drink: No one is louder than a drunk.
Excuse to drink: We are not talking about Aunt Flow here either people; invite your favorite Aunt out for a pint.
Employee Appreciation Day
Excuse to drink: We are all employed by someone, this time we get to celebrate ourselves.
Harriet Tubman’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: Harriet Tubman was born a slave; escaped, used the Underground Railroad to save at least seventy enslaved family and friends, and was a Union Spy. If that is not reason enough to drink, I do not know what is.
Ezra Jack Keats Birthday (The Snowy Day)
Excuse to drink: Books are great! Drinking is great! Coincidence I think not.
National Organize your home office day
Excuse to drink: I guess, “move a few sheets of paper around every now and again so your significant other thinks you’re working, while you get drunk and play Playstation Day,” was too long of a title.
Planet Uranus Discovered
Excuse to drink: Drink in honor of the only planet that makes even grown adults chuckle every time someone says its name.
Pi (3.14159265…) Day
Excuse to drink: Seriously! Come on people, it is a day that is also a mathematical symbol! If you don’t know why you are celebrating today, I ain’t telling you!
True Confession Day
Excuse to drink: Nothing brings out a good old fashioned Catholic style confession like a bottle of hooch.
Everything You Do Is Right Day
Excuse to drink: If you do it, it is right!
St. Patrick’s Day
Excuse to drink: I will not dignify this with a response!
Awkward Moments Day
Excuse to drink: As Big Bird would say, Today is brought to you by the Letters A.B.V.
Let’s Laugh Day
Excuse to drink: Everything is funnier when you are lit up!
Snowman Burning Day
Excuse to drink: Seriously people, read up on this day. Then grab some friends, some booze, a giant paper snowman, and some matches!
National Single Parents Day
Excuse to drink: Drink because they can’t!
As Young As You Feel Day
Excuse to drink: I see shots of Fireball and Jägermeister in your immediate future!
Near Miss Day
Excuse to drink: Back in 1989 a gigantic asteroid barely missed turning Earth into a flaming donut of death. Have one now because you never know when we are going to have to try to send Bruce Willis to outer space to save the world.
National Family Day
Excuse to drink: Drink with your relatives!
National Waffle Day
Excuse to drink: BRUNCH AGAIN!
Make up your own Holiday Day
Excuse to drink: Now this sounds like a solid drinking game!
Michael Jon Arp’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: Your kids will be celebrating this day in the future; you might as well get a head start.
Something on a stick day
Excuse to drink: Nothing goes better with anything served on a stick than a nice cold beer.
National Mom & Pop Small Business owners Day
Excuse to drink: Fun fact: Most bars are small businesses and family owned. Furthermore, most family owned businesses are B.Y.O.B.
Pencil with Eraser Patented (1858)
Excuse to drink: Mistakes are meant to be made, keep drinking.
National Farm Workers Day
Excuse to drink: They work harder than you will ever work so you can have fresh vegetable in your salad. You better drink in their honor.
April Fool’s Day
Excuse to drink: You were had all day, you might as well have one.
Excuse to drink: Patch up an old friend ship over a few drinks.
World Party Day
Excuse to drink: What is a party without booze!
Walk Around Things Day
Excuse to drink: Might as well drink while you are walking around things.
Excuse to drink: You can’t tell a story about being drunk properly unless you are drunk.
Excuse to drink: Tartan Day is the celebration of Scottish Heritage, so eat some haggis and drink some scotch. That is unless you are a racist.
World Health Day
Excuse to drink: Science says one drink is good for me, so several much be better.
Excuse to drink: Have a stargazing party. Party = Booze remember.
Winston Churchill Day
Excuse to drink: That is Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill to you! Drink because he said so!
National Sibling Day
Excuse to drink:Have a drink with your sibling and act stupid, just like old times.
National Cheese Fondue Day
Excuse to drink: Whether you choose to pair your cheese with wine or beer you will not be disappointed you celebrated today.
Reach as High as You Can Day
Excuse to drink: You will look stupid doing this if you are sober
International Plant Appreciation Day
Excuse to drink: Hops are a plant, Drink!
Excuse to drink: If you left ‘em, drink to that. If they left you, here is hoping they get Nuclear Clap.
Excuse to drink: The Government sucks, that’s why!
National Eggs Benedict Day
Excuse to drink: I’ll give you one guess. It starts with a B and rhymes with Lunch! B R U N C H!!!!
Blah! Blah! Blah ! Day
Excuse to drink: BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! DRINK!
Pet Owner’s Day
Excuse to drink: Pets are awesome!
Excuse to drink: If you don’t drink today, you are a communist!
International Weed Day
Excuse to drink: You can’t smoke all day, take a break, and have a beer.
Big Word Day
Excuse to drink: Listening to your friends try to pronounce and then define words like Anachronistic is going to be funny as hell after a few drinks.
Excuse to drink: Mother Nature is the shit!
International Nose Picking Day
Excuse to drink: If you are drunk, you can blame your disgusting habits on the booze.
Excuse to drink: Beer and tiny hotdogs are a match made in heaven.
Excuse to drink: Hug a tree and drink a beer!
Hug a Friend Day
Excuse to drink: You are out with your friend you might as well stop by the bar and have at least one drink.
Excuse to drink: Drink something that kicks like a mule!
Take Our Daughters And Sons To Work Day
Excuse to drink: When you get home you are going to need a drink
World Tai Chi & Qigong Day
Excuse to drink: After a nice calm, relaxing Tai Chi session a nice stiff drink will taste awesome.
National Honesty Day
Excuse to drink: Nothing brings out sincere honesty like a few cocktails.
Couple Appreciation Day
Excuse to drink: Have a drink with your significant other in honor of your tremendous union.
National Baby’s day
Excuse to drink: Have one for the baby’s in your life because the man says you can’t put a little whiskey on their teeth anymore.
Sun Day (Day of the Sun)
Excuse to drink: DAYTIME DRINKING!!!
International Star Wars Day (May the Fourth Be With You)
Excuse to drink: Google Star Wars drinking games and then watch all six movies.
Cinco De Mayo
Excuse to drink: No explanation needed. This holiday was created to be on this list.
National Beverage Day
Excuse to drink: It would be disrespectful to not drink on Beverage Day!
National Tourism Day
Excuse to drink: Pretend you’re a tourist and drive into the city, do touristy things, and then finish the night off with a fancy dinner at Apple Bees complete with a few drinks.
National Teacher’s Day
Excuse to drink: I am sure you were the reason many of your teachers drank, so now you can return the favor and have one in their honor.
Tear the Tags Off the Mattress Day
Excuse to drink: You are going to need some liquid courage if you are about to violate federal laws.
National Nightshift Workers Day
Excuse to drink: What shift do you think Bar Tenders work? DRINK UP AND TIP WELL!
Eat What You Want Day
Excuse to drink: This includes liquid bread.
Limerick Day (Edward Lear’s birthday)
Excuse to drink: Dirty limericks are hilarious when you are drunk.
Native American Day
Excuse to drink: Our ancestors were douchebags, the least we can do it raise a glass in their honor.
Excuse to drink: Go ahead, Get Crazy… It is your duty!
Peace Officers Memorial Day
Excuse to drink: Even if you don’t like them you got to admit dying to protect others is pretty admirable.
Wear Purple For Peace Day
Excuse to drink: To Peace!
World Telecommunications Day
Excuse to drink: If you are going to call your ex-girlfriend you might as well do it drunk.
No Dirty Dishes day
Excuse to drink: Only way to have no dirty dishes is if you go out to eat and while you are at it you might as well order a few drinks.
Armed Forces day
Excuse to drink: They suffer so you don’t have to! They fight so you can drink whenever you want to!
Excuse to drink: Flowers and a bottle of wine go a long way with the little lady.
National Waitresses/Waiters Day
Excuse to drink: Yet another excuse to go out to dinner and have some drinks, as always TIP WELL!
Excuse to drink: If you are going to be a musician you gotta drink! All musicians drink.
National Pickle Day
Excuse to drink: Pickle Back Shot!
Scavenger Hunt Day
Excuse to drink: What is better than a drunken scavenger hunt? Nothing. The answer is nothing.
National Something day
Excuse to drink: Drinking is something right? Right?
Senior Health and Fitness Day
Excuse to drink: Raise a glass to the old folks in your life!
International Jazz Day
Excuse to drink: Listening to Jazz and drinking booze go together like a beer and a camp fire.
Morning Radio Day
Excuse to drink: I always need a drink when I am forced to listen to the Z-morning Zoo.
Honor your Ancestors Day
Excuse to drink: Make sure to spill just a little out for your descendants.
Hug your cat day
Excuse to drink: Alcohol is a great pain killer and Fluffy tears your skin up.
National Meditation Day
Excuse to drink: While you are relaxed, why not relax some more.
American Zoo Day
Excuse to drink: Animals and Booze! Animals and Booze!
Leave the Office Early Day
Excuse to drink: Can you say Happy Hour!
National Trails Day
Excuse to drink: Hiking without beer is like Fishing without beer, boring and useless.
Excuse to drink: He was one of the founders of Western philosophy, go find a bar and wax poetic about all things undebatable.
World Environment Day
Excuse to drink: Drink draught beer today because it is a renewable resource!
Excuse to drink: Cause Fuck The Nazis!
Freedom of the Press day
Excuse to drink: Extra! Extra! Read all about it! You should be drinking!
World Ocean Day
Excuse to drink: The Ocean is freaking amazing, and so is drinking.
Best Friends Day
Excuse to drink: Drinking with your BFF is more fun than drinking alone.
Race Unity Day
Excuse to drink: Drink to diversity! Bonus points if your friend circle is a diverse as the cover photo of your local college’s website.
Abused Women and Children’s Awareness Day
Excuse to drink: To prove that not people who drink are abusive assholes.
Excuse to drink: Now you see my drink, now you don’t! We all like magic why not celebrate it.
Weed Your Garden Day
Excuse to drink: Because you earned it, toiling in the garden all day.
Excuse to drink: ‘MERICA!
National Photography Day
Excuse to drink: Drunk selfies are so much more fun!
No Orange Clothes Day
Excuse to drink: Today is a built in drinking game, if you spot anyone wearing orange, DRINK!
Eat Your Vegetables Day
Excuse to drink: Hint: Drink garnishes count.
National Splurge Day
Excuse to drink: Go ahead, splurge away!
World Sauntering Day
Excuse to drink: Drinking adds a swagger than simply can’t be matched.
Bald Eagle Day
Excuse to drink: The Eagle is majestic as fuck and it represents our country.
Excuse to drink: I hope you saved your Christmas Tree. Light a fire, and burn that son of a bitch. While you are at it have a drink.
Stupid Guy Thing Day
Excuse to drink: Celebrate all the dumb shit guys do, including drinking!
Let It Go Day
Excuse to drink: The easiest way to forget about your problems is to drink them away.
Great American Picnic Day
Excuse to drink: Picnics are better with booze!
Excuse to drink: Six Months Until Christmas.
International Day in Support of Victims of Torture
Excuse to drink: Drink, because not drinking is torture.
Helen Keller’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: Drink until you’re deaf and blind.
World War 1 Commemoration
Excuse to drink: Drink to the soldiers that kept this world safe when wars had meaning and politicians have souls.
National Duck Day
Excuse to drink: The only day when Duck Face Selfies are not only justified but mandatory.
Excuse to drink: Space is freaking awesome!
Excuse to drink: To Canada you Hosier!
I Forgot Day
Excuse to drink: Drink the day away!
PacMan Game Day
Excuse to drink: Sound like the perfect day for vintage video games and shitty beer.
Excuse to drink: ‘Merica!
Excuse to drink: To all of us that burn the candle at both ends.
National Fried Chicken Day
Excuse to drink: This day screams for some bourbon.
Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day
Excuse to drink: Depending on the age of your daughter, you will either need the flask because of what she tells you, or you can share it with her.
Be a Kid Again Day
Excuse to drink: Sneak out of the house through a window, meet up with your friends in the park and get shitty on some MD 20/20 and Jose Cuervo.
Air Conditioning Appreciation Day
Excuse to drink: Sit back, kick up your feet, and relax with a frozen daiquiri in your hand as the greatest invention of the 20th Century cools you down.
Don’t Step on a Bee Day
Excuse to drink: It is a rarity to find a bee in a bar.
Cheer up the Lonely Day
Excuse to drink: By buying them a shot!
Swimming Pool Day
Excuse to drink: Summer is all about sitting in a pool with drink in hand.
Embrace Your Geekiness Day
Excuse to drink: Drink until your nerd comes out!
Pick Blueberries Day
Excuse to drink: Celebrate how many Blueberries you picked!
Be a Dork Day
Excuse to drink: Dorks need to drink too!
International Juggling Day
Excuse to drink: Go find a renaissance faire and take a shot with a juggler. If you can’t find a renaissance faire I guess a Juggalo will have to do. Yea that was an ICP reference!
POW-MIA Recognition Day
Excuse to drink: Honor those that have given everything to protect our freedom.
Cow Appreciation Day
Excuse to drink: You eat them all the damn time, the least you can do is take a shot to celebrate how awesome they taste.
Stick Out Your Tongue Day
Excuse to drink: Those selfies are going to be priceless!
Excuse to drink: You are a grown ass man/woman and you got to take a nap! High five yourself for being awesome, and then drink up because you obviously don’t have any responsibilities.
National Tug-Of-War Tournament Day
Excuse to drink: Grab your friends, a rope, and a keg! Tonight is going to be a muscle ripping, rope burn, getting frat boy drunk kind of night.
Summer Leisure Day
Excuse to drink: It is Summer Leisure Day, that means your ass better be in a tube on a lazy river with a beer in both hands.
Gorgeous Grandma Day
Excuse to drink: Drink every time you see a GILF!
Amelia Earhart Day
Excuse to drink: Drink a few airplane bottles in solidarity with this record setting Aviation Diva.
Candles on a Cake Day
Excuse to drink: It is always somebody’s birthday and if there are candles on a cake I am drinking!
All or Nothing Day
Excuse to drink: Go big or Go home!
National Korean War Veterans Armistice Day
Excuse to drink: Throw a few back for the old timers that are still around the fought in the Korean War because most of them can’t drink now because their doctor says so!
Excuse to drink: Love ‘em or Hate ‘em, without them we would all have no idea where the hell our money goes. To the Bean Counters!
To the Moon Day (NASA founded in 1958)
Excuse to drink: Toast the dreamers that sent a few humans to the moon with less computing power that we all now carry in our pockets. Gotta love those crazy bastards!
Comedy Day (Make Someone Laugh)
Excuse to drink: Everyone laughs harder when they are drunk.
Harry Potter’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: Watch the movies and google a drinking game that coincides. There are so many to choose from.
Excuse to drink: Grab a few friends, a ball of any kind, and a case of good beer today a day for playing some sports.
Excuse to drink: Bring a flask to a museum, I promise you, you won’t be disappointed.
National Watermelon Day
Excuse to drink: Have you ever filled a watermelon with vodka and then ate it. What are you waiting for, you need a watermelon and vodka STAT!
Taxpayer Appreciation Day
Excuse to drink: Celebrate yourself if you are legit, but if you live on the other side of the law, take a drink in honor of those fools that pay Uncle Sam. I would drink something strong though because when you get caught you will have to drink toilet hooch and that shit is rough.
International Beer Day
Excuse to drink: Ummmmmmmm. Yea!
National Fresh Breath Day
Excuse to drink: We all love fresh breath!
Purple Heart Day
Excuse to drink: Even if you don’t agree with the cause, you have to admit the recipients of this medal deserve your tribute.
Excuse to drink: Chicks named Kat are remarkable people and if you know one you should be drinking with them today!
National Hand holding Day
Excuse to drink: You should drink because you have someone to hold hands with.
Gals Night Out
Excuse to drink: Ladies tonight is the night to get your drink on with your bitches, Men the more they drink the better you look.
Excuse to drink: Ohhhhhh YEA! Vodka and Kool-Aid rules!
Baseball Fans Day
Excuse to drink: Buy a ticket to the ball park and get your tailgate going!
International Left Handers Day
Excuse to drink: Drink with all your left handed friends today.
Wiffle Ball Day
Excuse to drink: Grab a Wiffle Ball, a plastic yellow bat, a chair, and a case of beer. PLAY BALL!
National Failures Day
Excuse to drink: Drink until your failures are funny.
National Golf Day
Excuse to drink: 18 holes+24 beers= one great day!
National Thrift shop Day
Excuse to drink: Shop until you drop, then celebrate the awesome sauce that you found that someone else threw away 40 years ago.
National Homeless Animals Day
Excuse to drink: Adopt a dog and then raise a glass to its forever home!
Excuse to drink: Vodka anyone!
Stay-at-Home with Your Kids Day
Excuse to drink: You are going to need a drink after today.
Excuse to drink: Celebrate your favorite wordsmith one sip at a time.
National Punctuation Day
Excuse to drink: A.K.A. Grammar Nazi day! You will need a drink to soothe your throat, if you are the one correcting people all day, for the rest of us that throw commas around like a drunken chimp playing darts, we will need a drink to calm the urge to punch these Syntax Soldiers in their face.
Hug Your Sweetheart Day
Excuse to drink: A hug is good, but a bottle of wine and a fancy dinner is better.
Strange Music Day
Excuse to drink: Hijack the Juke Box at your local bar by slipping a $20.00 in and play songs like this.
Kiss and Make-up Day
Excuse to drink: You just made up with your significant other.
Woman’s Equality Day
Excuse to drink: Go shot for shot with your lady friends.
Just Because Day
Excuse to drink: Drink just because.
Excuse to drink: Discuss your dreams while getting crunk!
More Herbs Less Salt day (Eat Healthy Day!)
Excuse to drink: Order a drink with an herbaceous garnish.
National Toasted Marshmallow Day
Excuse to drink: You must drink when sitting around a camp fire, it is simply the rules.
Eat outside day
Excuse to drink: Grab a picnic basket and some booze to celebrate the great summer you just had!
American Chess Day
Excuse to drink: If you think Chess is a great game, try CHESS the Drinking GAME!
Excuse to drink: Celebrate your mid-life crisis by tying one on.
Excuse to drink: Pick your favorite building and go visit it! While you are in the city you might as well have a drink.
Eat an Extra Dessert Day
Excuse to drink: Booze is a dessert right?
Waffle House Day (Debuted in 1955)
Excuse to drink: Every Waffle House restaurant is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, so hit up a bar and have a midnight snack at a Good ‘Ol Waffle House.
Do It! Day (aka Fight Procrastination)
Excuse to drink: DRINK!
Google Commemoration Day
Excuse to drink: If it wasn’t for google we would still be using map quest, arguing all night at bars, and have @aol.com at the end of our email addresses. To Google!
International Literacy Day
Excuse to drink: Read a book while drinking some scotch Mr. or Ms. Fancypants.
Wonderful Weirdos Day
Excuse to drink: Fly your weird flag all over your local tavern.
National Boss / Employee Exchange Day
Excuse to drink: Happy Hour! Exchange beers with your boss.
9/11 Observances & Remembrances
Excuse to drink: Never Forget!
National Policewoman Day
Excuse to drink: If you can drink with them, if you can’t drink for them, just never… never… ever… hit on ‘em.
Excuse to drink: Get a haircut you hippie and then go out and show off your new do.
National Pet Memorial Day
Excuse to drink: Raise a glass to all the pets in your life that are no longer with us.
National Thank-You Day
Excuse to drink: Say thank you with a few a drinks.
Wife Appreciation Day
Excuse to drink: Happy wife, Happy life, and my wife likes to drink.
National Constitution Day
Excuse to drink: Drink-up because the constitution says we can.
National Play-Doh Day
Excuse to drink: Drink because you made that awesome Play-Doh sculpture. You rock dude.
Talk Like a Pirate Day
Excuse to drink: And drink like one too.
National Punch Day
Excuse to drink: Punch as in that giant bowl of liquid that your 17 year old self spiked in order to get to second base with Mary Jane Such and Such. Now is the time to spike that punch once again.
Miniature Golf Day
Excuse to drink: A few friends, a flask, and a mini-golf course, sounds heavenly doesn’t it.
Excuse to drink: Find some Barliman’s Best or your favorite beer and have a hobbit themed party complete with Middle Earth inspired food.
Excuse to drink: If we are going to celebrate Chess we should probably celebrate its dumber cousin. At least it is easier to play when you are in the bag.
Eat Dinner with your family day
Excuse to drink: You are probably going to need to drink before, during, and after.
National Comic Book Day
Excuse to drink: Everyone loves comic books even if they don’t admit it.
National Food Service Employees Day
Excuse to drink: Here’s to everyone that brings and cooks you food when you don’t want to do it yourself.
Crush a Can Day
Excuse to drink: Gotta drink what is inside before you crush.
Ask a stupid question day
Excuse to drink: Do you want another drink? See what I did there.
Happy Goose Day
Excuse to drink: Did you know that Geese will never let another goose die alone? How about that Geese mate for life and mourn the loss of their loved one when they die. Geese are pretty freaking cool, as long as they are not pooping on you! Here’s to geese!
Excuse to drink: Pumpkin beer it is!
World Vegetarian Day
Excuse to drink: Booze goes great with Veggies too!
Charlie Brown & Snoopy’s Birthday
Excuse to drink: Celebrate everyone’s favorite Block head and his sarcastic puppy too.
Excuse to drink: Drink to all the nerds in your life, for without them who would you call when your computer gets the internet clap!
Excuse to drink: If you are going to speak like a trucker or a cop you might as well drink like one.
Excuse to drink: It is hard not to smile with a drink in your hand.
Clergy Appreciation Day
Excuse to drink: Even if you are not religious it is pretty amazing that these men and women give up their lives in the name of service to their community.
National Frappe Day
Excuse to drink: Because you just drank a crap load of coffee and ain’t going to bed anytime soon.
Thanksgiving Day in Canada
Excuse to drink: If the Canadians are celebrating something so should you. Don’t let those floppy heads have all the fun.
Leif Erikson Day
Excuse to drink: That dude was a Viking and if there is one thing that Vikings liked to do more than pillaging and plundering it was drinking! Grab yourself a horn mug and drink up.
World Mental Health Day
Excuse to drink: The first step towards defeating your problem is to acknowledge its existence. The second step is to drink it away, unless of cause that problem is alcoholism, then I suggest a different route.
Coming Out Day
Excuse to drink: To understand the difficulty of being in the closet, one must try to comprehend fighting ever urge to be one’s self in front of everyone they love in fear that the truth will destroy the affection the hold so dear. Raise your glass to honor all of those who were brave enough to already take this step, take a shot for everyone that is still struggling with this monumental decision, and pour a little out for every misguided soul that thinks it is their business who someone else loves.
Moment of Frustration Scream- Day (scream 30 seconds)
Excuse to drink: …and have a drink afterwards.
It’s Train Your Brain Day
Excuse to drink: Beer is like a protein shake for your brain! Work it out and then drink it off.
Bald is Beautiful Day
Excuse to drink: Drink in honor of all the folically challenged people in your life.
National Poetry Day
Excuse to drink: Write a poem for your loved one, share a bottle of wine, and hopefully a bed.
World Food Day
Excuse to drink: You need something to drink with all the awesome food you are about to eat.
National Pasta Day
Excuse to drink: Pasta is freaking awesome!
Excuse to drink: Because all Alaskans do too.
Evaluate Your Life Day
Excuse to drink: You are going to need a few drinks after having this conversation with yourself.
National Brandied Fruit Day
Excuse to drink: Technically, I guess this should read excuse to eat your booze.
National Pumpkin Cheesecake Day
Excuse to drink: Nothing goes better with Pumpkin Cheesecake like a nice tall mug of Pumpkin Beer.
Make A Difference Day
Excuse to drink: Go out, do something awesome for someone and then drink to yourself you amazing son of a bitch.
TV Talk-Show Host Day
Excuse to drink: You going to have to be drunk to watch that rubbish.
Excuse to drink: Sour beers are making a comeback and I think this is the perfect day for you to jump on this bandwagon.
National Greasy Foods Day
Excuse to drink: If a PBR and a filthy cheese burger doesn’t sound f-ing amazeballs to you, you are reading the wrong blog.
Excuse to drink: Dude, Science made Mules and that is awesome! A male donkey gets it on with a female horse and boom MULE! That would be like a human and chimp doing the horizontal naked time dance and creating a Humanzee! Oh holy crap I want a Humanzee right now!
Cranky Co-workers Day
Excuse to drink: A liquid lunch is just what those cantankerous bastards need to turn their frown upside down
Excuse to drink: Seriously, it is the internet! Pick one of the about 180,000,000 results that Google will find in about 0.36 seconds when you search drinking games and rock out.
National Oatmeal Day
Excuse to drink: I know what you are thinking, come on man we need a reason to drink booze not Ensure. Relax, I got your back… Think Oatmeal Stout!
Devil’s Night / Mischief Night/Cabbage Night
Excuse to drink: Someone has to protect the homestead from that little, pre-pubescent, egg toting doucheknuckles. What you will need is a bunch of booze, a really bright light, a gawking chair and a camera. Every time, one of those punks walks past and thinks about ruining your paint job just remind them that jury’s love to watch a good movie starring the criminal.
Excuse to drink: Booze is just treats for adults. Trick or treat, smell my feet; give me something good To drink. If you don’t, I don’t Care, I will pull down my underwear… And leave an upper deck in your toilet seat you cheap fuck.
Day of the Dead
Excuse to drink: Gather your family and friends to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died.
Name your Car Day
Excuse to drink: Celebrate your noble steed.
Excuse to drink: Possibly the best food canvas in the culinary world, we have eaten them since practically birth, from the first peanut butter and jelly, our lovely moms cut the crust off of to the wild boar bacon, foie gras, and brie Panini that now tickles our fancy.
National Skeptic’s Day
Excuse to drink: If you don’t your friends may become skeptical of your life decisions.
Guy Fawkes Night (bonfire night, fireworks night)
Excuse to drink: Fireworks and drinking are better than most things in this world. Be mindful though drinking and hospitals suck! Be careful and don’t say I did not warn you.
I love Nachos Day
Excuse to drink: NACHOS!!!
Hug a Bear Day
Excuse to drink: After you are done hugging a bear you are going to need a hospital and some heavy duty liquor.
Try a New Recipe Day
Excuse to drink: Download a bartending App and make yourself a cocktail that you have never tried before.
National Scrapple Day
Excuse to drink: Some of you may have to drink a few before you gain enough courage to give scrapple a try. I on the other hand love this breakfast food produced by food gluing the parts of the pig that hot dog companies won’t even use. Mmmmmmm… Food Glue.
Lung Cancer Awareness Day
Excuse to drink: ‘Cause fuck cancer in its stupid face!
Excuse to drink: Drink to the soldiers not to the politics.
National Pizza with the Works Day
Excuse to drink: Because Pizza!
World Kindness Day
Excuse to drink: Buy a shot for a stranger and explain why you did it. This will hopefully start a shot chain that will work its way around the bar.
National Guacamole Day
Excuse to drink: I don’t always drink Dos Equis, but I do on National Guacamole Day.
I Love to Write Day
Excuse to drink: Sit down with a blank piece of paper, a pen, and a scotch. See what comes out.
International Day for Tolerance
Excuse to drink: Because it will increase your alcohol tolerance.
Take A Hike Day
Excuse to drink: The days are getting shorter and the nights are getting longer. Grab your wife, your dog, and your flask before hitting the trails.
William Tell Day
Excuse to drink: Take a shot of Apple flavored booze off someone’s head. It may sound silly but it is a hell of a lot safer than shooting an apple off your son’s head with an arrow.
Carbonated Beverage with Caffeine Day
Excuse to drink: Rum and Coke anyone!
Universal Children’s Day
Excuse to drink: Celebrate the wonderful children in your life and drink away the headache they give you.
World Television Day
Excuse to drink: Without Television how would you know what brand of booze you should be drinking.
Stop the Violence Day
Excuse to drink: Celebrate this global movement to end violence against women and girls.
Buy Nothing Day
Excuse to drink: Stay home and drink!
National Espresso Day
Excuse to drink: Espresso and Baileys taste fantastic together.
National Parfait Day
Excuse to drink: Eat healthy in the morning so you can drink heavy in the evening.
Excuse to drink: When there is cake it is always a celebration!
National Day of Listening
Excuse to drink: Listening is always easier when your mouth is full.
Red Planet Day
Excuse to drink: Raise your glass towards the sky and drink one from our neighbor, Mars.
Throw out the leftovers day
Excuse to drink: It is sad to see good food go to waste, make sure the leftover wine and beer does not meet the same fate. Drink up!
Computer Security Day
Excuse to drink: Before you being to make all of your online purchases for the upcoming holidays, crack open a bottle of something and take today to update all your virus protection and malware programs.
World AIDS Day
Excuse to drink: Drink in remembrance for all of those who have died by the dreaded hands of this disease.
Science Fiction Day
Excuse to drink: Science is awesome, but Science Fiction is that much better.
Make a Gift Day
Excuse to drink: Put your bartending hat on a make someone you like a drink. While you are at it, make another one for yourself.
Excuse to drink: Cookies and Beer, cookies and beer, everybody loves cookies and beer.
National Commute With Your Baby Day
Excuse to drink: Because you were on the damn train with 100 moronic fledging parents that thought this holiday was a good idea.
Saint Nicholas Day
Excuse to drink: Celebrate Christmas early by rejoicing in the name of Good Ol’ St. Nick. Yea, that’s right St. Nick, like Santa Claus and shit.
Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day
Excuse to drink: In memory of this tragic day.
Excuse to drink: Brownies are denser than cake yet softer than cookies, they are really the best dessert out there.
Christmas Card Day
Excuse to drink: Sit home crack a bottle of wine with the significant other and put stamps and addresses on 100 envelopes.
National Lager Day
Excuse to drink: Lager is a beer, this day is for beer!
International Mountain Day
Excuse to drink: Go climb a mountain, if you can’t climb a rock, and if you can’t do that walk up hill, then go to the bar and celebrate Mountain Day.
Gingerbread House Day
Excuse to drink: Nothing goes better with building a Gingerbread house than a glass of spiked nog.
National Cocoa Day
Excuse to drink: Make some Hot Cocoa for you and your Beau and sit next to the fire. The Cocoa should of course have whiskey in it.
Excuse to drink: Whether you are celebrating The Monkeys of the furry primate variety or the Band, they are both really freaking cool and should be honored.
Bill of Rights Day
Excuse to drink: Drink because it is your right!
National Chocolate Covered Anything Day
Excuse to drink: Because come on, who does not love anything covered in chocolate.
Excuse to drink: This is a roman holiday and if any culture knew a thing or two about Hedonism it sure was the Romans! It is basically Roman Era Christmas.
Wear A Plunger On Your Head Day
Excuse to drink: You will probably need a few drinks under your belt for this one.
Oatmeal Muffin Day
Excuse to drink: What a crappy holiday! Drink!
Go Caroling Day
Excuse to drink: Here we come a-wassailing, among the leaves so green. Here we come a-wand’ring, so drunk to be seen.
Excuse to drink: It is the shortest day of the year, that means you can drink well into the night.
National Date-Nut Bread Day
Excuse to Drink: Wash down some nut bread with some nice stiff nog.
Excuse to drink: It is a Festivus for the Rest of us.
Excuse to drink: Santa is COMING!
Excuse to drink: SANTA IS HERE!!!
Excuse to drink: It’s like Christmas only British and Weird.
Holocaust Remembrance Day
Excuse to drink: To forget history is to invite a tragic reoccurrence.
Card Playing Day
Excuse to drink: Might I suggest a rousing game of Cards Against Humanity and a few pints at your favorite watering hole.
No Interruptions Day
Excuse to drink: Do not interrupt my drinking!
Excuse to drink: Relax with a drink or two and get ready for New Year’s Eve!
New Year’s Eve
Excuse to drink: IT IS A CELEBRATION BITCHES!